Ep.1: Gods, Wasps and a Blue Whale

In this episode of No Good Options, Darren, Sam and Kara debate which domain they'd choose if they were given the chance to become a god, try to work out the practical consequences of sneezing random animals into existence, and face a choice between a single-use superpower or the lifelong ability to summon a very loyal, and surprisingly controversial wasp.

Along the way, they discuss power-hungry deities, cults disguised as religions, endangered-animal restaurants, exploding blue whales, aggressive sneeze-generated lions, shape-shifting dragons, super-intelligence, and whether a single wasp might secretly be the most powerful superpower of all.

Look out for new episodes every 2 weeks and if you enjoy this episode, we'd really appreciate a good rating on your podcast platform of choice and a share with anyone who enjoys questionable debates and impossible decisions. If you have a scenario you'd like us to discuss in a future episode, or just want to get in touch, you can reach us at nogoodoptionspodcast@gmail.com.

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, arguments, and questionable decisions discussed in this episode are part of a light-hearted comedy conversation based on hypothetical scenarios. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as professional advice, factual guidance, or a serious life plan. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

Darren 0:28

Hello and welcome to No Good Options, the podcast where we ask the what if, if you could, and the would you rather questions that are just begging to be asked. Each episode we bring a different scenario to ask each other, ranging from the absurd to the surprisingly thought-provoking. I'm your host, Darren, and with me as always is my co-host, Sam. And again, our guest, Kara. So let's kick things off with let's go with you, Sam.

Sam 0:51

Okay, you want to open with me? Okay. So you and 100 other random people on Earth are chosen to become gods. This is Greek slash Roman pantheon style. So you are gods of a certain domain. The wider your domain, typically the more powerful you are. But if any two people pick the same domain, neither of you become gods. Which domain are you picking? So, you know, because obviously you want to go for something like I pick life or I pick like technology. But you know, random 100 random other people, they're also probably going to pick those.

Darren 1:23

This is kind of like the ball game just one, but for picking gods.

Sam 1:26

But for picking god domains.

Kara 1:28

See, there's part of me that wants to go for something really obvious on the basis that people will be so scared to pick the obvious. Yep.

Sam 1:36

But it just takes one other person to think that way.

Kara 1:39

I know that's the problem.

Sam 1:41

Because the other thing is, so while you're picking your domain, so like you only have power within this domain. So for instance, if you picked like God of agriculture, you can't do anything about like helping solar panels or curing cancer or anything like that. Um, and in the same way, you only get more powerful and be able to do stuff based on people worshipping you. So I pick something like the cloudy Sunday afternoon. I will only get power. So I'll definitely get that domain. No one else is picking that. But also I only get power when there's a cloudy Sunday afternoon and everyone's like, gee, thanks, Sam. I mean, we're British. Yeah, we do have a lot of, we've got 50 odd cloudy Sunday afternoons a year.

Darren 2:18

In the summer when it's really hot, how many people go, Oh, I wish I wish it was just a little bit cooler. A little bit cloudy, a little bit cooler.

Sam 2:24

Yeah, so you've got to pick like a good one. You would be worshipped. Yeah, because we're also praying you for this thing. You know, you can go like God of the ocean.

Darren 2:32

Someone's having that.

Sam 2:33

Someone's probably, yeah, but more than one person's probably picking that. Aquaman's after an upgrade. That's what's happening with that one.

Darren 2:39

Oh, I don't know.

Sam 2:41

It's gotta be something you're interested in. Like, I'm never picking agriculture. Like, I love that agriculture exists, but my day-to-day I'm not gonna be enthused by it. Like, you know, I'm not having a good godhood. Good godhood. Good godhood. Cara, you're so deep in thought.

Darren 2:56

I know I am. This isn't real, you know. Like what you pick isn't actually gonna happen. No, no, no, this is real. I'm a genie.

Sam 3:02

This is I'm just trying to, you know, I'm spitballing right now. I'm one of the hundred people I got picked.

Darren 3:09

Like it's just remember because Sammy's a genie, you can't wish for more wishes.

Sam 3:14

Wish for more wishes. Oh, you always wish for more wishes. Like, there is no way I can't wish for more wishes in some way. Like, even if I can't wish for more wishes, I wish for a second genie.

Darren 3:22

Like, I mean, that would work.

Sam 3:24

You know, or my first wish is I wish that I could wish for more wishes, and then my second wish is wishing for more wishes. Like, loopholes. I mean maybe I become god of wishes. How many people wish for things? A lot of people wish for things.

Kara 3:39

That is true.

Sam 3:39

And my domain is that I grant people's wishes. Do you get to choose if you grant it or not? Yeah, yeah. Oh, right, okay. Like, you know, I only grant it to the faithful, as it were. Those who like, you know, have given me some real prayer juice, as it were. This is starting to sound like a cult. Oh, yeah, I know. Like it is, like Greek pantheon.

Darren 3:56

Yeah, this is they were cults. This is full-on drink the Kool-Aid. Yeah, yeah. That's all this is. Worship me and I'll grant your wishes.

Sam 4:02

You can pick something like real basic, like life, and then you probably don't need that harder worship because so many people like life.

Kara 4:08

Yeah, but somebody else is definitely picking it.

Darren 4:11

But are they worshiping it or are they living it?

Sam 4:14

So this is kind of the thing of like if they just live it, you get like a tiny little bit of like things. So if you have like eight billion people being thankful, so like it's not just living, but it's like being thankful for being alive. Even if they're not thanking you, you get like a little bit of juice.

Darren 4:29

Oh god, if you were the god of life, you'd constantly have make people go through near-death experiences just so they'd thank you for being alive.

Sam 4:36

Oh god, yes, that is a hundred percent. That is some wrathful god type stuff there. Like that is like everyone thinks that Darren is the god of earthquakes, but really he's just like wants a lot of near-death experiences.

Darren 4:49

Cracked it.

Sam 4:50

We're out here trying to cure cancer, and Darren's like, you can almost cure cancer. Don't you feel glad to be alive?

Kara 5:00

But what is the chances that someone else is gonna pick that option?

Darren 5:03

Oh, probably quite high. Pretty high.

Kara 5:05

So you gotta pick something that nobody else is gonna pick.

Darren 5:08

Obscure but still worthwhile. And that's the trick in it, isn't it? It's still gotta be worthwhile.

Sam 5:12

I reckon for me, a hundred other people, I don't think anyone's gonna pick research. Like, I feel like that's a very specific personality type. Who worships research? Researchers. They don't worship it, they do it. No, no, okay, because being in research, if there was literally a deity where I could pray to to make my experiment work, I'm praying to that deity.

Darren 5:35

Oh, okay. Oh, that's that's different.

Sam 5:37

The number of times where we've just been like, oh no, you can't be mean to the robot, it's gonna act up. We've got to be nice to the robot for it to do what we need it to do. Like it's but you know, the robot will be me, god of research.

Darren 5:48

The best treated rumba in the world.

Sam 5:51

I was more thinking robot arm, but also rumba research.

Darren 5:56

The rumba's coming. Clear the room, clear the room. Go on, Cara, you look like you had it.

Kara 6:02

Yeah, because I've decided that I would want to be the god of um superstition.

Sam 6:08

Ooh, go on.

Kara 6:08

I think I would have a lot of power.

Sam 6:10

How would that work?

Kara 6:11

I don't know, but people pray to me all the time. Like they'd break a mirror and they'd be like, oh no, God protect me.

Sam 6:18

Oh, because in order for people to pray to you, you've got to make bad things happen to people who do break mirrors. Yeah.

Kara 6:24

Yeah, I'd have a lot of power.

Sam 6:25

That would be a lot of power. That's a lot of power.

Kara 6:28

And you think about how many superstitions there are in the entire world for different cultures and different people. Oh yeah. The god of superstition would have a lot of power, nearly as much power as the god of life.

Sam 6:37

That is a great answer. Wait, would you, as god of superstitions, make every superstition global? Like, you know, whatever, like I don't know any, like, for instance, Indian superstitions, but and like, you know, most people in the UK don't. Would you still make them applicable in the UK and punish people who break the superstition without realising?

Kara 6:56

No, no. I don't know. Okay, so they've got to know about it. Yeah, I'd like people to do it. Superstitions relevant to their culture. Yeah.

Sam 7:01

Okay, wait, know about it or relevant to their culture?

Kara 7:03

Because otherwise relevant to their culture. Okay, because otherwise it's their own fault if they don't know about it and it's in their own culture.

Sam 7:08

Because otherwise, I'm raising a baby to adulthood, not knowing any superstitions. Oh, yeah.

Kara 7:14

Yeah, it's relevant to them.

Darren 7:15

And that's why you'd be a bad parent. So I'm gonna go with the god of superstition as well. No, you can't become gods. I don't want you to have anything nice.

Sam 7:31

Rip. I become the god of stopping other people becoming gods.

Darren 7:38

I feel like if you were the god of superstition, my life would be over. You've done what, Darren? Yeah, that's unlucky for you. So that would work out not in my favour. So I'd have to go with the same just to trip you up. No, I wouldn't. I don't know what I'd go for. That's a great one. You've really ruined it for the rest of the class.

Sam 7:58

If you go in superstition, would you feel bad making bad things happen to people who broke superstition just so that you became more powerful? You're still you though. You're cara the god.

Kara 8:08

Like you said, yeah, but I've power tripped at this point.

Sam 8:10

You'd think you'd power tripped. I don't think I power tripped. Just look at her face.

Darren 8:14

You can see. Even the way she just answered that and went, no, I'm a god. I power tripped at this point. You can see it all over her. She is loving this. She is getting off over the thought of being able to dictate people's future in terms of luck, good luck or bad luck.

Kara 8:28

Yeah, that's power.

Darren 8:29

Oh, damn.

Kara 8:30

I'd be raised eyebrow then. That is evil.

Sam 8:33

That is a little evil. Oh, you're a monster. What about you, Sam? Yeah, research. I'm picking research.

Darren 8:38

You're going with you.

Sam 8:39

I'm sticking with that one because A, I don't need to be mean to get people to pray to me still. Like, yeah. Yeah. B, it's a thing I'm genuinely interested in. So like I don't think I'm getting bored in my godhood. Like, because a bored god is a wrathful god.

Darren 8:53

Like, I like the fact that you were saying you're genuinely interested in that, and that's why you picked it. Cora doesn't believe in good love.

Kara 9:00

She doesn't believe in superstition. She believe in power. It is the power.

Darren 9:05

She believes in power. That all makes sense. Oh, I don't know. I think I'd um oh man. You've really stumped me now.

Sam 9:14

Because that's just such a good one. It is a good one. It is a niche one that can get you very powerful.

Darren 9:19

Yeah. I am gonna I am gonna go with you've got a superstition.

Sam 9:23

Superstition that's breaking the rules.

Darren 9:25

It's not breaking the rules. I'm just stopping you. I giving you this amount of power is dangerous.

Sam 9:30

I feel like we've got to set some like no-good options ground rules here.

Kara 9:34

Yeah, you can't steal and no, but Sam, you don't understand.

Darren 9:39

Look at how power crazed her eyes are at the moment. We can't let this woman have this power. I am taking one for the team.

Sam 9:46

Well, because like here's the problem, right? Here's the risk that you're taking. Because Cara's told you she was going for superstition. Kara just wants power. She could pick something else knowing that you're going to pick superstition.

Darren 9:55

Yeah, but then I get an incredible I become incredibly powerful.

Sam 9:57

Can have a more powerful one to like check back. Wait, actually, no, I feel like yours could be like critical thinking and reasoning, you know, to break superstitions. Like, it's just all like evidence-based thought processes. But I've got to get the world to believe in that.

Darren 10:13

That's the hard bit. No, I'm I'm sticking with superstition. I am I am stopping you from having your power track.

Kara 10:19

Come up with one good idea. You do, it's taken.

Sam 10:22

We should we should make Darren go first more often.

Darren 10:25

I've not stole it, I'm stopping it. I'm saving humanity here.

Sam 10:29

This is a self-sacrifice. You can be the god of self-sacrifice.

Darren 10:33

No, because no one would celebrate that. No one would go, I'm gonna worship self-sacrifice.

Sam 10:39

Maybe, I don't know, because it's does the god of self-sacrifice mean that like you go in to self-sacrifice and then the god saves you, or does the god make your self-sacrifice even more powerful?

Darren 10:49

Oh, even more powerful. Oh, okay. I don't know. I feel like a few people would be like you'd have to sacrifice a lot to do it. And would people are too selfish to do that?

Sam 10:57

Not everyone, though. Like there are some people.

Darren 11:00

I mean, I'm not gonna be a powerful god, am I? Because there's not enough people.

Sam 11:03

Well, no, but like if because you know, self-sacrifice is already quite a lot of fuel for the fire, as it were, as worship goes. Like, you know, if someone's self-sacrificing for you, like you're getting a huge amount of power per person. I mean, they're very loyal people, like they're incredibly loyal, which would probably let you put some real power behind their self-sacrifice, which would probably get more people to self-sacrifice when they see just how much power.

Darren 11:24

It's it's a really good point, Sam. You've made me reconsider my options, but I'm still going with the uh I'm still going with the god of superstition.

Sam 11:31

Still going with no one else.

Darren 11:32

Yeah, we have to stop Kara. And if anyone else is given the same choice, also pick that just to really double down on it.

Sam 11:41

It's just there, like, please, when you get an option for godhood, this real thing that's going to happen to you. The outcome is we end up with one god, and that's Sam with his research. But very niche.

Darren 11:52

The uh yeah, the superstition is sorted. So I'm going with that. Cool.

Sam 11:57

Great choice.

Darren 11:58

So let's go to me next.

Sam 12:01

Let's go to you. Let's go with you've had so long to decide.

Darren 12:07

No. I'm gonna go with. What if every time you sneezed, a random animal appeared next to you? Ooh.

Kara 12:13

I'd be so happy. What if it was a bird? I don't care.

Sam 12:16

Oh wait, oh, this is just a yes-no, we can have this ability or not. It's it's not like uh or something bad happens.

Darren 12:24

No, this this is a this is it happens. Just for you, it happens. What are you gonna do?

Sam 12:29

I th well, okay, does it care? Because you know, sometimes I like you can hold back a sneeze sometimes, right? Like, does the animal still appear if you're holding back the sneeze?

Darren 12:38

If you hold back a sneeze, you tend to do the little instead of a full sneeze, and that's when you get a little animal. Oh, that defends the size of the. If you do a big sneeze, you get a big animal.

Sam 12:47

Okay, so does the animal appear out of the ether or get teleported from somewhere in the world?

Darren 12:52

Let's go with appears out of the ether.

Sam 12:54

Okay, cool.

Darren 12:55

You're improving animal populations.

Sam 12:56

Yeah, yeah, because that's what I want. I want to improve animal populations. I also, second question, is it like still illegal to eat an endangered animal that I sneezed into existence? Because I'm technically the only reason that endangered animal existed. And can I open an incredibly niche restaurant where I just get huffing pepper and that's what the menu is that day? Do you want to try blue whale? Do you want to try puffin? Do you want to try panda?

Darren 13:24

Ah, I think I'd like to try panda.

Sam 13:28

Takaru is shaking her head in the body.

Kara 13:31

No, I would not like to try these animals.

Sam 13:34

Because what do you do with the animals?

Kara 13:36

You get to keep it.

Sam 13:37

Okay, no, no, no, but like how often do you sneeze?

Darren 13:41

Stock a zoo. What you can do if you sneeze a blue whale into existence right next to you in the middle of the in the middle of the line.

Kara 13:46

It's just gonna die.

Darren 13:47

What happens? It is just gonna die. What happens if you're lying in bed, sneeze, and a giraffe appears?

Kara 13:54

But it just made me laugh.

Sam 13:55

Ooh, okay, because this raises an interesting question.

Kara 13:58

Would it break my house?

Sam 13:59

Yeah. Yes. Okay, so like it like grows out from the center to like spread out, or it like appears and deletes the matter in the space where it should create. So like, does it explode out and so the walls explode out? Yeah. Or like you sneeze and an elephant's next to you, and the elephant has just annihilated behind the brick.

Darren 14:16

It blows out. It blows out. I mean, let's keep it within the realms of physics.

Sam 14:20

Does it hurt the animal to explode through a wall, or is it sort of invulnerable while it's being created?

Darren 14:24

It's invulnerable while it's been created. Once it's kind of there, that's when it starts to feel pain. Okay, so like you could be driving your car, and then next minute, like yeah, a grizzly bear appears next to you.

Kara 14:38

But you could be also really lucky and it'd be a moose.

Sam 14:41

Why is that lucky? No, moose not so huge.

Kara 14:44

I don't want to see a moose.

Sam 14:45

You can see a moose without crashing into it on the M1. No, you wouldn't crash into it in the M1 because it'd be in the car with you. It'd be crashing with you. Okay, well, actually, because does it appear in a random area around you? Because like, why isn't the moose appearing out the other side of the window in like the highway? Why is it inside the car? Like, is it random whether it's inside or outside? Is it always in the space that you're in?

Darren 15:05

In the space you're in.

Sam 15:06

Okay. So don't get a box.

Kara 15:08

Like circumference diameter is that from where I am? Like right next to you.

Darren 15:13

Like almost in your pocket.

Sam 15:14

Like the idea is like you sneeze and it's touching you kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like it's growing out from some part of your body. Is it do can it never hurt you? Like a blue well never appears on my head.

Darren 15:25

No, it always appears next to you. Yeah, okay. You might rather roll over and squash you, but only when it's here.

Sam 15:30

Oh, okay. I'm still probably taking that deal. There's also quite a lot of insects out there, like you know.

Darren 15:35

But it is all dependent on how heavy you sneeze.

Sam 15:39

Oh, right, right, right. Yes.

Darren 15:40

Remember, so if you just do a little like the chew, you know, then you might get a rabbit. If you do then you might end up with something pretty big.

Kara 15:50

I don't think my sneezes are big enough to generate a blue whale.

Sam 15:53

Does it have to be currently living animals or is there a chance of dinosaurs?

Kara 15:56

Or a dodo.

Darren 15:58

No, they have to be current living animals.

Sam 16:00

Wait, in the universe? So I could maybe find out if alien life exists by sneezing a bunch of.

Darren 16:06

Oh, okay.

Kara 16:07

Still taking the could be a bird and just fly away straight away.

Darren 16:10

They could. They could. They could. But then you are you then introducing species uh unnative species into an area, which then ruins the uh ecosystem.

Sam 16:19

They're not a breeding pair, so you're fine.

Kara 16:20

And I think you'd be alright if it was a bird because it'd fly to its ecosystem.

Sam 16:24

Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, how many instincts are they coming in with?

Kara 16:29

Because how many must have their natural they they would surely have their natural animal instincts and birds have gotten a little bit more.

Sam 16:35

Because is it not like turtle style where like they only can go back to that beach because they came from that beach?

Darren 16:41

And to be fair, if a turtle appeared, that's a long walk for them to get back to the beach. It might not make it.

Kara 16:46

And do they come like what age do they come? Like, are they babies or are they like fully grown adults? Like at what age?

Sam 16:55

Like I think there'd be this much detail. Of course there's this much detail. This is the no good options podcast.

Darren 17:01

They're a um a rhombunctious teenage aged animal. They're not old, they're not too young, they're in the middle.

Kara 17:14

So I'm not getting cute little babies.

Darren 17:16

No.

Kara 17:17

I'm getting moody teenagers.

Darren 17:19

You get moody teenagers full of peptop. I Peptobism.

Sam 17:25

I think that given that this is such a huge part of your life, like you would probably carry around something that made your sneezers smaller, like a nose clip or something. Like, or you'd get like sneeze training so that I would never risk a blue whale incident from now on, known as a BWI.

Darren 17:48

But imagine that first time and it happens.

Sam 17:50

Oh yeah, the first time would freak me out. How many times do you have to sneeze before you're like, it's every time I sneeze? Because the first time you sneeze and they appear, I think I'm just going, oh my god, it's come out of nowhere, and I'm not focusing on what I just did.

Darren 18:02

I'd be thinking the god of research has found out some really cool magic trick.

Kara 18:07

Is the size of the animal So obviously the size of the animals based on the size of the sneeze is based on the accurate measurement of the sneezometer.

Sam 18:16

So I was gonna say, is it decibels? Or is it like you know, is it like force of sneeze in like newtons? Miles per hour of like not leaving your nose.

Kara 18:28

Is what size animal comes based on my sneezing pattern or the average world sneezing pattern?

Darren 18:34

So like I've heard you do some real big sneezes.

Kara 18:37

So like, but how how does the powers that be know how big my biggest sneeze is to give me my biggest animal?

Darren 18:44

It's on a scale that everybody would be measured against.

Kara 18:47

Yeah, so I think I'd be safe.

Darren 18:49

I I know for a fact you wouldn't be safe. I've heard you I've heard sneezes come from you where the windows are rattled. You do and they're not cute sneezes, so the animal wouldn't be cute either. Oh, so how vicious the sneeze is is also really you know, like like when when our son sneezes, you're getting bunnies. You're getting the cutest little bunnies in the world, you know, soft as anything. When you sneeze, you're getting a mounting lion that's ready to rip your face off.

Sam 19:18

That kind of thing. I didn't consider the hyper-aggressive animals.

Darren 19:22

Yeah, you have an aggressive slit sneeze, of course you're getting a hyper-aggressive animal.

Sam 19:26

Oh, okay. So, like a loud sneeze is big, aggressive sneeze produces aggressive animals. Like cute little sneeze produces cute little animals.

Darren 19:35

Yeah, loud, a really loud but cute sneeze will get you something like a Highland cow. Yeah, yeah.

Sam 19:42

Yeah, I think I can control my sneezes well enough that this is a good deal for me. What about you?

Darren 19:46

Oh, I'd do everything in my power to make sure that you sneeze. I think I I think I'd I think I'd go for it. You could really have some fun with it.

Kara 19:55

You could also make a lot of money.

Sam 19:57

Yeah, that's kind of what I'm thinking is you would make a tremendous amount of money from an basically infinite supply of animals that you eat.

Darren 20:05

I'm on the same page.

Sam 20:06

I'm not even saying anything, like zoos, exotic pets, research, endangered animals.

Kara 20:14

Yeah.

Darren 20:14

So you'd research on those animals. You'd test lips that lipstick another makeup on them. That's cruel. You better off eating them.

Kara 20:22

I didn't mean research like that.

Darren 20:24

I'm not gonna judge.

Kara 20:25

I meant you can research like their behaviours and stuff, but you could also join a circus.

Darren 20:30

I'm taking the deal. I'm taking the deal.

Kara 20:32

I'm taking the deal.

Darren 20:33

Brilliant. Harmony. Cara.

Kara 20:38

Okay, so mine is still kind of a little bit along the animal theme, but not really. Would you rather have a one-time use superpower that you pick the power, but you only get it once?

Darren 20:50

Hence the term one time use. Yeah. The power to give themselves super.

Kara 20:53

I was just really pinging that. No, you can't have a loophole.

Sam 20:57

I wish for more wishes. I just wish for the genie.

Kara 21:02

Or you have a lifetime superpower of being able to summon a wasp. Now, the wasp like I don't know what the wasp is an ally and so much better.

Sam 21:14

You've immediately made this significantly better.

Kara 21:17

Yeah, so the wasp is an ally. The wasp will never ever sting you, and it will do your bidding to an extent.

Darren 21:22

I'll be honest, I thought this was all plausible up until you said the wasp won't sting you.

Sam 21:26

What do you mean?

Kara 21:27

It's an ally. It's a buddy wasp.

Sam 21:28

No, there's no such thing.

Kara 21:33

Yeah, you can summon one.

Sam 21:34

Oh, oh. But I thought I could summon like one at a time.

Kara 21:37

Yes. So it's a full wife. You can use your power as much as you want. So you can but your power is to summon one wasp one wasp at one.

Sam 21:45

At a time. Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

Darren 21:46

Or you can have an effort does it take to summon that one wasp?

Sam 21:49

Yeah, am I just thinking, summon? Or do I have to be like, oh great wasp from beyond the realm, I summon thee to do my bidding. And then he needs to sleep for three days.

Kara 22:01

You summon the wasp and it takes them a good ten minutes to get to you.

Sam 22:04

But in that ten minutes, can I summon another wasp?

Kara 22:08

Yes.

Sam 22:09

Okay, so like, you know, I can spend ten minutes subbing like one wasp a minute, and then in 20 minutes I've got ten wasps.

Darren 22:16

Yeah.

Sam 22:16

Okay.

Darren 22:17

But by the time the wasps get there, all the danger's over anyway, and you don't need the wasp anymore.

Sam 22:20

Well, no, because I'm thinking I just I'm being attacked.

Darren 22:22

Quick, summon the wasp.

Sam 22:25

Only a fool doesn't pre-summon their wasps. Like I for the attack. I'm keeping a swarm on me. But how long does the wasp stay around for?

Kara 22:31

The wasp kind of gets bored after about 10-15 minutes.

Sam 22:34

Oh no, that's pretty bad.

Kara 22:36

Like he has to go and do wasp things. Wasp at that point.

Darren 22:39

Sting innocent people.

Kara 22:40

It has to go about its waspy day.

Darren 22:43

Yeah, you've introduced a new wasp in the world to sting people.

Kara 22:46

No, you're summoning it, so it's got to fly to you. So that's why it takes time. So yeah, so that's why it takes time.

Sam 22:53

You're from standing next to a wasp. What if it gets bored and starts flying away and then I summon it? Does it just immediately come back?

Kara 22:58

I suppose it would, yeah.

Darren 22:59

What if I'm standing right next to a wasp and I summon one? Does the one I'm standing next to come or one that's ten minutes away come? Because that really is.

Kara 23:08

The closest wasp will come to you.

Darren 23:09

Ah, but then that's not ten minutes.

Kara 23:11

No.

Darren 23:11

And this changes this this changes the game a little bit. Sam's like always being prepared. You just keep a wasp and a little and a little thing.

Kara 23:17

Yeah, but how useful is having a wasp? How useful is a fashion? Then how useful is a scenario? Can no, because the point is you can have a one-time use superpower that you get to pick.

Darren 23:27

I suppose we are getting fixated on the wasp.

Kara 23:30

Yeah, you are very fixated on the wasp.

Darren 23:32

I do have like a couple more wasp-based questions. So I'm gonna go for the superpower. My superpower is gonna be I'm gonna summon a wasp that can understand me. Once. You can summon the wasp once.

Kara 23:45

That seems like such a poor use of a one-time superpower.

Sam 23:48

Yeah. But the wasp can understand me. The one superpower. Well, like what would you pick, Kara, as your one superpower?

Kara 23:54

I'm really not sure. Like, I I still I always say the one superpower would have would be teleporting. But just so once and you get stuck wherever you mean you've you've saved one plane trip. Yeah, it would be a really one bad one-time use superpower. So I think I would probably go with something like super strength because I feel like there might be a scenario. And I'd keep it in the tank, and then there might be a scenario where that would be really, really.

Darren 24:21

I would like you to go for your teleporting. So, like, you know, when you leave the house and you're like, oh, I forgot my passport, I can't go back. You end up stranded somewhere. I've not got my keys, my wallet, my passport, I'm not gonna get back.

Kara 24:34

So, what would you pick as your one time?

Darren 24:36

We know Sam's all about the wasps.

Sam 24:38

I mean, I do like so because here's the thing, I'm not a big fan of one-time use things. I save things for too long. I die on my deathbed having not used my one-time superpower. Where my wasp thing, if there's no limit to summering, summering, summoning the wasp, like at least I would feel safe, I guess, would be the thing. Like, you know, like I feel like most dangers like muggings or anything like that. Like, I've never been mugged, but I'd feel a lot safer walking around at night.

Kara 25:05

You'd spend a lot of time summoning wasps to keep a wasp with you constantly.

Sam 25:08

Well, no, that's you just said it gets bored after 10 after 15 minutes. So, like I go for an hour's journey, I only need to summon like six wasps.

Darren 25:17

I mean, that's real planning. Yeah. And it's like I go out in 10 minutes. I'd better start summoning the wasp the first wasp now.

Sam 25:23

First wasp now. I mean, also, maybe I keep like a wasp hive near me. Like maybe people keep beehives, I keep a wasp hive.

Darren 25:30

So do the wasps normally sting you, but don't if you summon it.

Kara 25:35

Yeah, so if you had a thing on you, you'd have to summon the amount of wasps inside to stop it from stinging you.

Sam 25:41

Oh yeah, yeah.

Darren 25:42

Are you still sticking with your wasps?

Sam 25:44

Okay. Wait, okay, I want you to say, what's your one superpower that you're gonna use?

Darren 25:47

I told you what mine is.

Sam 25:49

Oh, the you you pick to be able to summon one wasp when it can't understand you. Absolutely. Wait, actually, yeah, because if this is like a one-time thing, can my power to be to like summon a magic dog and then the dog just hangs out with me forever? Or like, you know, is there a time limit on anything that is summoned with my one-time use power?

Kara 26:06

Is that a superpower then?

Sam 26:07

Yeah, the ability to summon a magic dog that does what you ask it to do.

Darren 26:10

Oh, yeah, because that's the comic book that we all love to read.

Sam 26:14

I mean, I was trying to think of something which isn't just like because obviously I get Superman powers. I want Super Dog Summoner. Wait, actually, yeah, how long does my one-time use power last? Like, if I have the power of Superman, then like how long will I last?

Kara 26:27

Okay, so if you have a power like that and the same as like my power, which would be super strength, you get 24 hours with it.

Sam 26:35

24 hours, okay, cool, cool, cool. So I get 24 hours with my magic dog.

Darren 26:38

But teleporting you only do once because it's teleporting So on yours, you were like, oh my superpower would be super strength.

Kara 26:45

Yeah.

Darren 26:45

You'd have 24 hours to use it.

Kara 26:47

Yeah.

Sam 26:47

I mean, Kara's thinking of a scenario where like a car's tipped over and you only need it once.

Kara 26:51

I really need it.

Darren 26:52

Yeah, but if you get given this choice now, I mean it can do it. You've now got twenty-four hours to use it. No, no, no.

Sam 26:57

Kara's thing is like you pick your superpower now, but it doesn't activate until you choose for it to activate it to gain your clock. Okay, because I was thinking no, I take it back.

Kara 27:08

So your superpower only lasts for as long as you continue to use it. So if you have super strength, I'd have to be continuously using that super strength. So as soon so if I lift a car and then drop that car, the strength goes immediately. Easy.

Sam 27:25

If you I change my answer, you have until you touch.

Kara 27:28

You have until you touch down.

Sam 27:29

I change my answer. I will fly then. Because you just never touch down again. Oh no, I get I get it.

Kara 27:33

You get tired. What would you get tired?

Darren 27:35

Superman does not get tired, he flies all round over the place.

Kara 27:37

I was like, Well, your superpower isn't the endless ability to not be tired. Well, because like superpower's fine, you're gonna get tired still.

Sam 27:44

I keep my answer to the wasp.

Darren 27:53

Ah, but only if you're super healing.

Kara 27:56

Yeah, there's a difference between standard healing and superhealing.

Darren 27:59

Yeah, no, but like So you have to constantly kill yourself.

Sam 28:02

No, no, like super healing is just the ability to like regenerate very quickly.

Darren 28:06

Yeah, but in order for it to you regenerate very quickly, you need to be at a state where you're always needing to regenerate quickly.

Sam 28:11

Yeah, but it's the same way it's But I'm saying like you're constantly needing to like make new blood cells, generate new like liver cells, like you know, that's a constant healing of the body. Like when you do exercise or just move your muscles, you get micro-tears that need healing.

Kara 28:26

Yeah, but what that's like saying I could walk around with a one kilogram dumbbell if you're gonna be able to do it. I am wondering about that.

Sam 28:32

Oh, so you've got to be using the full top level beyond.

Kara 28:35

Yeah, because if I I could then just keep super strength forever by just walking around with a one kilogram weight on me and saying, Well, I'm using my strength.

Darren 28:42

I feel like I'm the only one who's solved this puzzle.

Sam 28:46

With with your um one-time used wasp that can understand me. Because you always have the wasp that understands you around you.

Kara 28:52

Or is it only No, because you've only got the ability to summon it once. So once the WAS get boredom goes away, you've lost that.

Sam 28:58

I'm fine with that. I've had a conversation with it by then. Can my 24-hour superpower be to give other people super permanent superpowers? Like everyone actually. Why would you want that though? Okay, and then follow-up the ability to cure all disease in the world. Just a one-time activation, I wipe out all diseases.

Kara 29:17

Is that a superpower though? No.

Sam 29:19

No, not a superpower.

Kara 29:20

I would say super intelligence would be a superpower. So you could have a lot of people. I'm just thinking of like super healing other people.

Darren 29:26

Yeah.

Sam 29:27

Not liking it. Okay, if I can't weirdly loophole it, I'm probably keeping the wasp ability that I can do forever. And you could keep the wasp.

Kara 29:34

I think I'd keep the wasp.

Darren 29:36

I think you were so set on super strength, so you could lift a car one.

Kara 29:39

No, I wasn't. I was asked what strength I'd have. Oh, what superpower I'd have.

Darren 29:43

I want the strength that allows me to lift a car.

Kara 29:46

No, I think I would definitely go with the wasp. I think in a fight, people are really scared of wasps. Like, and people are allergic to wasps. Like you could do some serious damage with your wasp.

Darren 29:55

You know what this means, don't you? Harmony.

Kara 29:58

Well, no, because you wanted to summon a wasp in one time.

Sam 30:01

I was also like I think I actually have changed my mind to super intelligence, because I can just build myself Iron Man armor with super intelligence.

Kara 30:10

You would also you use your brain all the time. I suppose you don't use it, but if you're if you're really clever, you'd be constantly thinking. Yeah. Yeah.

Sam 30:17

Like everybody.

Kara 30:18

So super intelligence would be the one that's a little bit more than a little bit. Until you go asleep.

Darren 30:21

Until you go to sleep.

Sam 30:22

Yeah, it can last until I go to sleep. I'm okay with that. But like I think I could solve a lot of the world's problems with like 24 hours of super intelligence.

Darren 30:30

All you need is a split second of not thinking about it and it's gone.

Sam 30:34

Yeah, but I'm super intelligent. I'll I'm use my intelligence to focus.

Darren 30:37

But you could go, oh, I'm really hungry. Oh gone. I need one of one of my dry crackers.

Sam 30:43

You are underestimating the amount of thought I put into how hungry I am at any given moment. True.

Darren 30:48

I need a cure. Gone.

Sam 30:50

Gone. It's true, it's a risk. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

Darren 30:54

I'd also make sure it's on a day that we're doing board games and you need to teach us the rules. Wasted. How do we play Sam? Oh damn, gone. And I'm still there with my wasp for 10 minutes.

Sam 31:05

What do you name your wasp? What's your super wasp's name?

Darren 31:08

It's not around long enough for me to go out.

Sam 31:11

That's so mean. We we we've got 10 minutes to have a conversation. We're not going to do pleasantries. What are you doing with your 10 minutes with your like super intelligent wasp? You don't want to know. How do you do something I don't want to know with a wasp? I don't know. I do want to know.

Darren 31:26

You know what, those times where you're like, oh, I'd love to be a fly on the wall. I mean, I could just watch the wall.

Sam 31:30

One of your options could be to turn into a fly on the wall. If I pick shape shifting, can I just always be shape shifting a very small portion of my body and then I get to always have shape shifting?

Darren 31:39

Yeah, but again, once you're asleep, you've gonna Oh sleep, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sam 31:42

And once you think of it.

Kara 31:43

Yeah.

Sam 31:44

Because I don't know, I would like to be a dragon for a bit.

Darren 31:46

Okay. But yeah, you know, like when you say you know you'd love to be a fly on the wall, that's what I'd have the wasp for. For ten minutes. Yeah, so I could have a wasp on the wall.

Kara 31:55

I kinda like the idea of shape shifting now as my one superpower.

Sam 31:59

What would you shape shift into?

Kara 32:00

Something strong.

Sam 32:01

Oh, oh, yeah, no, that does cover super strength plus.

Kara 32:05

Yeah, and then after I've done that, I can shape shift into something like fly and be a fly on the wall. Yeah, and then I can shape shift into something that doesn't sleep.

Darren 32:14

So here's the point with that. While you're in the other shape, does that mean you're constantly using that power? So as long as you never go back into your own shape.

Sam 32:23

So I was thinking no, because your power is shape shifting, not being in a different shape. Uh so I'd so my power would be a to be a shape shifter.

Kara 32:32

And just do one.

Sam 32:34

Yeah, because that only gives you one shape shift.

Kara 32:36

Yeah, and then you're stuck.

Sam 32:37

Oh, there, then you're stuck as your new body, I guess. Oh, that's not bad. I could pick a few forms I'd rather have. I changed my mind, I'm going back to my wasp. No, no. Because you've convinced me. Like, I can just change my body into something else. I probably do pick that. Dragon mumbi dangerous.

Kara 32:54

People would definitely come after you if you change his body.

Sam 32:56

Yeah, yeah. I'm probably not picking up. Sam, you could be my wasp that I can talk to, and that's what I can talk to. Yeah. I was more thinking, like, human body is very inefficient. So, you know, shapeshift into just peak muscular chair, peak like metabolism. You can probably shape shift your brain. So, like, peak brain power. You can use words that describe things better than brain power.

Darren 33:16

Yeah. And the only thing that won't change is all you'll do is still drink your and peak as substance. And that concludes this episode's absolute nonsense. Um, that is our scenarios. And we've been No Good Options. If you've enjoyed this episode, then make sure to rate us on your podcast platform of choice and share it around. If you want to see your scenarios on future episodes or just want to get in touch, then you can reach us at no good optionspodcast@ gmail.com. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Band 33:46

Would you rather what if if you could? Oh, we made it weird like you knew we would. Oh, what was your answer? Quick. Oh, no good options.