Ep.7: Inanimate, Mini Thief and a Rich Man's Game

In this episode of No Good Options, Darren, Sam and Emily debate which everyday object they'd bring to life as their best friend, discuss what they'd do if the Borrowers really were living in their walls, and try to decide which parts of modern life should swap places between the rich and the poor.

Along the way, the conversation veers into talking spoons, Dave the Lego figure, taxidermy, imaginary AI companions, borrower rights, birthday presents, handwritten letters, gas meter keys, luxury gap years and why the humble postman might have more to worry about than just delivering the mail... a lot right? As always, three innocent questions quickly unravel into increasingly ridiculous conversations, questionable morals, and far too many unintended consequences.

Look out for new episodes every 2 weeks and if you enjoy this episode, we'd really appreciate a good rating on your podcast platform of choice and a share with anyone who enjoys questionable debates and impossible decisions. If you want to find out more or you have a scenario you'd like us to discuss in a future episode then head over to www.nogoodoptions.co.uk

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, arguments, and questionable decisions discussed in this episode are part of a light-hearted comedy conversation based on hypothetical scenarios. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as professional advice, factual guidance, or a serious life plan. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

Welcome And The Rules

Band 0:00

Good question, a weird one, say it loud and make us do a little laugh, a little dread. We taste the water round our heads. Would you rather what if you could? Say it quick. No good options. No good options. Hey, would you rather what if if you could? We make it weird like you knew we would. What's your answer? Tell us quick! No good options!

Darren 0:29

Hello and welcome to No Good Options, the podcast where we talk about the what if, if you could, and the would you rather questions that are just begging to be asked. Each episode we bring a different scenario to ask each other, ranging from the absurd to the surprisingly thought-provoking. I'm your host, Aaron, and with me today is my co-host Sam. And our guest, Emily. So let's kick things off with let's go with me this time.

Pick An Object Best Friend

Darren 0:50

So if you could bring an inanimate object to life to be your best friend, what object would you choose? Now, before we start, Sam, you can't say a robot. Because I know that's where your head's gonna go.

Sam 1:00

I mean, it wasn't until that moment, but a fully humanoid atlas-style robot.

Darren 1:04

It's gotta be something like a spoon or something like that. Okay, but how does the only one on it? Moving on, to the next one. Easy, done.

Sam 1:14

So yeah, an animate object, best friend, what are you bringing back? How is it moving around? Like I pick spoon. Is it floating? Is it crawling?

Emily 1:22

No, it well, how would the spoon normally move? Is it gonna be the big spoon now?

Sam 1:26

Or it is cold at night, so I mean we do get like Emily, you're not fighting the single allegations right now.

Darren 1:36

Sam needs a big spoon to whisper into sleep at night.

Sam 1:40

Yeah, I can commission a giant spoon and pick that to be coming to life.

Darren 1:45

So what are you going for?

Sam 1:46

Like, just so you've not said, is it crawling around? Like it can just bend anyway.

Darren 1:50

It moves like the object moves. So if you have something that has Is it rolling?

Sam 1:53

Can a spoon roll? Can a spoon roll? This is what I'm asking. Is it rolling? Is it crawling? Is it floating?

Emily 1:59

It's just laying on the ground screaming because it can't move.

Sam 2:03

It's just that I scream, but I have no mouth.

How On Earth Does It Move

Sam 2:05

What horror have you brought me into, father? Please end it now.

Emily 2:10

Just do it like forky. Give it some little exactly. Yeah, yeah, like forky.

Sam 2:15

I'm sorry, you were just making fun of doing charades over the podcast and then immediately went into charades.

Emily 2:20

Listen, let me describe two sticks on the end of a spoon. Now it's forky.

Darren 2:28

So it will move like the object would move. So a spoon has no movement. Yeah, they don't move.

Emily 2:35

So how can we do it? It moves like the object would move. It doesn't move.

Sam 2:37

So therefore it wouldn't move in that case.

Emily 2:39

It doesn't have to hold it.

Sam 2:40

So the only things that move are things like if I pick like an RC car that has its own motor that can move. Yeah. If I picked like a tow car toy car that just had wheels that wouldn't move because it doesn't have a motor that can move the wheels.

Darren 2:52

Well you could push it.

Sam 2:53

But I can push it. Okay. God, that's quite dark.

Darren 2:56

Whatever you pick can talk because it's your best friend.

Sam 2:58

Okay, so it's big I I'm silly for thinking that I a spoon would move, but it's perfectly normal for the spoon to be able to talk. Yes.

Emily 3:09

You walk around, it's tiny, it's not moving. It just looks like you're talking to yourself. Yeah. With your best friend. That's Sam with his best friend. It's a little car. And that's his no a spoon. The spoon is Sam's special.

Sam 3:22

Other people are there. We don't talk about Sam's spoon.

Emily 3:25

Don't don't ask him about it directly. It upsets him.

Darren 3:28

I like how this is the first time Emily's met and she's already figured out your special.

Emily 3:33

Listen, you can have a bet your best friend can be whoever you want, Sam.

Darren 3:36

Oh, thank you so much.

Sam 3:39

He already walks around with a spoon. Yeah, I just get a second spoon to join Spoony. That's your next guess. He just doesn't talk back.

Emily 3:47

What accent is the spoon having, do we reckon? Is it does it depend, you know, is it Sheffield Steel, for instance, spoon?

Sam 3:54

Oh, nice. Okay, yeah. Like if I pick like didgery do, it's got an Australian accent.

Emily 3:59

Could I mind? Let's be free. Let's be free. I think I started off strong and went really bad to the side.

Sam 4:08

I don't know, it's a solid one. We're just waiting for the Australian hate mail. It's far away.

Darren 4:13

I'm wondering if it had dipped into New Zealand at any moment.

Emily 4:16

A little bit, yeah. I'm well travelled.

Sam 4:19

Yeah, I'm not bad at accents. I'm well travelled.

Darren 4:23

So, any ideas?

Sam 4:25

I mean, you've limited it quite strongly because I was imagining this was some like beauty and the beast style, like if I pick a table, it's galloping on its table.

Emily 4:33

Oh, that yeah, I'd much prefer that. You made it rubbish. Yeah, you made it rubbish. We're gonna change it.

Sam 4:37

We're gonna take over the question.

Darren 4:40

Yeah, but even with that, so a table at least has legs, you can see a joint of some sort. A spoon still doesn't have that. Wait, how does the spoon in the Toy Story movie move? Well, it's a plastic.

Emily 4:50

Yeah, tentacles are sport.

Darren 4:51

Oh, I'm so sorry. If you're gonna do a film reference, get it right. I know I am ready for the spoon.

Emily 4:58

Yes, they just they just move. They just move. We don't question it, they just move. It could hop. Oh, now it can hop. I was imagining more of a worm movement.

Darren 5:08

I was also imagining more at worm. It can move however the hell you want it to move. Okay, nice. You broke so easy. Is that how easy it is to break it for the movie? I figured that if I didn't, we'd never get off the spoon. Three hours later, we're still talking about how a spoon moves. So yeah, it can move, all right?

Emily 5:25

Well, I mean, I'm a single person, so I'm already friends with an annual object. But I don't want that one talking back to me. So what is it saying? Say good job. I think oh, it would have to be maybe.

Hiking Sticks With Actual Feedback

Emily 5:44

Oh, I don't know. I'm thinking like something while I'm hiking, because I go out hiking a lot. Something while I'm out and about. A compass. You lost! Right. Perfect.

Darren 5:53

That's called a satinav. We already have that.

Sam 5:56

Oh my god, if I pick my phone, does it just do my apps for me? Yeah, you can pick a phone. Phone's not bad.

Emily 6:02

Yeah, I'm gonna go like my hiking sticks. Because I reckon we just have a good old gab on the hike. Because I just talked to myself at the minute. On the hike, yeah, they I get feedback from it, and they could actually maybe tell me if I was lost. You know, my last hike I went, I got electrocuted. So if they'd have been there, yeah, and I fell off a tree.

Sam 6:21

Why were you up a tree?

Emily 6:22

Well, I wasn't up a tree, I was on a tree. And I alright, I'm going off paste here, but basically, it looked like it was flat on the ground. So I thought I'd climb over a fence because I was lost, because I didn't have a talking stick to tell me where I was. And uh and it turns out the ground was significantly steeper below it. So it wasn't on the ground, it was up diagonally. And I walked over and it was a rotten tree that unexpectedly broke underneath the weight of me, and I just fell through it and rolled down the hill. That was after I'd been electrocuted for trying to climb a fence. But that is a different fence. Yeah, so I do think the stick would be good because that'd be console me.

Darren 7:00

Unless the stick had a real good sense of humour's like, that fence isn't electric, fine. Don't worry about it.

Emily 7:04

The stick has your sense of humour, it's not my best friend.

Darren 7:08

It'd be just be an acquaintance.

Sam 7:10

So yes, right, you get electrocuted, and if it's the Darren stick, he's like, Oh, you've used it the charge, you're safe now, you can go again.

Emily 7:16

You wouldn't be able to speak for laughing. I could leave you here.

Darren 7:21

I so you pick your stick, your walking stick is your best friend. When you want to be out and about with your best friend and you're not walking, yeah, you're just taking a walking stick out of the way.

Emily 7:29

Yeah, but then you use it like as a sword, couldn't you? It'd be like if you're out, you know.

Sam 7:33

You're thinking I'm the crazy one. You're the woman waving a sword around Morrison's. No, it's not even a sword. Why am I in Morrison's now?

Emily 7:40

Why am I in Morrison's? What if I was in Waitros when let's go?

Sam 7:43

Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Don't assign. I misclassified you. Don't.

Emily 7:48

I can't afford Waitros. Can I, Darren?

Darren 7:55

So I

A Very Dark Dog Idea

Darren 7:56

had a my first thought when this one came up is I was thinking, so when our dog Ripley dies, get her stuffed, then bring her back as uh an animate object, and a base say I've got my dog back.

Emily 8:06

That's dark.

Darren 8:07

She's gonna get stuffed and be a table.

Sam 8:09

Does she keep her full like memories when she gets stuffed and brought back? Like, was all the training stick?

Darren 8:16

No, she wouldn't because she might realise that the way she died, and we don't want her to remember that.

Emily 8:20

Okay, because why why would she you don't want to remember? Are you expecting it to be horrific? I mean, are you expecting it to be you sounds premeditated?

Darren 8:28

We have shotguns in the cupboard for a reason.

Emily 8:31

What happened to your last dog? Where is it?

Sam 8:34

Like Ripley's just like, is that why there's so many dog heads mounted in the other room?

Emily 8:39

But imagine, like, how long do you expect it to come back to life for? Because when you've passed on, she's been passed down through the family, you know, one eye's hanging out, she's a bit tatty.

Darren 8:50

She when I get buried, she'd then come with me. With you. So I've got some to talk about. So two horrors. Two horrors. Double murder.

Sam 8:57

Very rare, the double murder is the same animal.

Darren 8:59

Because then if anyone tries to stuff me and bring me back to life, we can be together soon.

Sam 9:03

I mean, I am thinking, what if I taxidermy the human? Like I mean, that's pretty bad.

Emily 9:08

Do you have someone in mind?

Sam 9:09

Maybe the one that he's already got buried in the world. Maybe taxidermy Darren is nicer to me.

Emily 9:14

I don't think that's gonna happen. I think that'd be like one, you know, be careful what you wish for.

Darren 9:20

Even without having my pre-existing memories of you, meeting you as a dead body, I think I'd still end up the same way.

Emily 9:25

And if anything, he'd never tire. Like all you can bank on his he sleeps at some point.

Darren 9:32

Like now. So then I didn't end up thinking that. That was where my mind went to a strength.

Emily 9:41

It's not your choice. What's gonna be weird? And then the choice you just said.

Darren 9:45

Well, I realised that that was maybe a bit weird. And you're right, they would get tatty and the eye falls out. They might smile after a while as well. So I was like, yeah, that's probably not gonna work. There's only so much Fabriz you can put on a dead dog.

Emily 9:54

Just uh yeah, I mean, just like SideQuest, how do you wash taxidermy? Do you wash it, or is it a Fabrize job?

Darren 9:59

I'm not an expert in taxidermy. Yeah, I mean, that's a solid question.

Emily 10:03

Yeah, my great grandma had a crazy squirrel. It was at her funeral, it was like the hell squirrel in the family. It's I don't think that was washed.

Darren 10:10

I imagine they're either worn dress only or hand-dry. They're definitely not washing machine safe.

Sam 10:14

I mean, do they even don't you just get dusted rather than like a full wash? I'm assuming people aren't handling taxidermied animals that often.

Emily 10:22

Is that to keep the dust up? Anyway, sorry. I've bought us down a taxidermy rabbit hole.

Sam 10:29

Were the rabbits also taxidermied and brought back to life furtherable? Very tempted by phone because I'm assuming this is just a free unlimited AI then.

Emily 10:40

They can just like No, it feels dirty then. You don't know, I don't want to be our best mates with AI. Come on. I don't want to be best mates with AI. It's gonna tell me I'm right all the time. And my level of what's the word, self-confidence needs humbling from time to time, you know? Like I need someone to say that's real stupid.

Sam 11:01

You're just flat wrong. Yeah, yeah. If they're your best friend, good friends tell you when you're wrong.

Emily 11:05

Yeah, my my alive human, real best friend does tell me I'm wrong.

Sam 11:10

I was gonna say, friends are meant to humble you or make you feel small. That's what Darren always tells me.

Darren 11:14

Oh no, that yeah, oh the reason Emily is has such a big ego is because she has no friends to bring her down.

Dave The Lego Mate Debate

Darren 11:27

So my real answer, I'd go for a little Lego man. Oh. Because they're really small, so you can take them everywhere, but they'll move. They can talk and they've got a face, so just some talking doesn't seem weird because they have a face on them.

Emily 11:38

What if you've had greasy hands and rubbed the face off?

Darren 11:41

Oh god, it's dark.

Emily 11:43

But they turn it round so it's the angry face. Yeah, seemed in the Lego movie.

Darren 11:47

But the other good thing with the Lego is you can change the outfit, change the hair, change the face.

Emily 11:50

How does it feel when you take his head off to change his head, though?

Sam 11:54

I mean, this is some real like shipothesis problem of like, so you change his head and then you change his body, then you change his legs.

Darren 12:02

He is, because he has a name.

Emily 12:04

Franken Legon Man.

Darren 12:07

What is his name? I knew you were gonna ask me that.

Sam 12:09

Of course I was gonna ask you that. I don't have a name. Why do you claim he's got a name if he doesn't have a name? Dave. His name's Dave. If he comes to life, he will have a name. God, this gets real dark if you start calling them Emily.

Emily 12:20

Why is it it's a bloke?

Sam 12:24

I mean, honestly, do Lego people have gender?

Emily 12:27

Oh.

Sam 12:27

Depends what hair. Yeah, the hair piece of it. Based just on the hair piece. Wait, so it's it's Dave, you swip out the hair piece.

Emily 12:36

And you know it's in a dress when it's like the blocky bit at the bottom. It's not got legs, just like a weird tail.

Sam 12:42

It just sticks out.

Emily 12:43

Yeah, that's the dresses.

Darren 12:44

The great thing with having a Lego man is one small, you take everywhere, and it can whisper in your ear and stuff. That'd be really cool. But then you can actually play with Lego like when you're a kid. You know what I mean?

Emily 12:54

What if he doesn't consent? You're making me uncomfortable with this game. I mean, I don't like it. When you're out the room, I'm like, Dave, he plays with me rough. I don't like it. Swarning the other Lego people, junk onto life.

Sam 13:07

Dave loves it. No matter what you hear him say, Dave loves it. Come in one day, he's turned the hob on, he's trying to jump into the flames.

Darren 13:16

But imagine, like, you've you've have you seen the Lego movie? You've seen the Lego movie.

Emily 13:20

Why are you looking at me seeing Lego movie?

Darren 13:21

Of course you've seen the Lego, you still play with Lego.

Emily 13:23

So this is why this one's such a good movie with consent. May I play? I've definitely seen the Batman Lego movie. That one's quite funny.

Darren 13:35

Imagine being in that kind of like you've got your own little Lego man, it'd be really cool. And if you're ever feeling really down, they can do the every Everyone Is Awesome song, everything is awesome song.

Emily 13:43

Yeah. Can you say I don't remember it? Sam will me a rendition.

Darren 13:46

Sam will definitely sing it.

Sam 13:49

I don't think there's been an episode yet that Sam hasn't sung on yet. Oh, see, I feel like it when it's my choice to sing, I refuse to be forced to dance like a dancing game.

Darren 13:59

We've already established that I don't ask for consent for this person. So just do as you're told, monkey boy. Everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you're part of a team. Everything is awesome. That's a good boy.

Emily 14:14

You're living the dream.

Darren 14:16

So yeah, mine's a mine's a little Lego man named Dave.

Emily 14:19

I felt real guilty by association. So I am complicit. I didn't stop it. I stood and did nothing. Didn't challenge.

Sam 14:29

That's that's as bad as me. I'm just as guilty. True evil happens when good people stand by and do nothing, I believe.

Emily 14:37

At the point where I'm getting more grief than death. Well, I've come to expect it from dad. Yeah, yeah.

Darren 14:45

So that's my pick. Go on. What are you guys going with?

Emily 14:47

The sticks. Are you still sticking with the sticks? I'm sticking with the sticks.

Sam 14:51

Stick it till you die.

Emily 14:52

Yes. I don't I don't want Dave who's been abused by you. Because I don't want to deal with his trauma anymore.

Phone Friends And Trading People In

Sam 15:00

I like the idea of my phone. The problem is phones don't last longer than five years anymore.

Emily 15:04

And it's going to be very sad that so you trade your friends in for younger models regularly.

Sam 15:10

Actually, yeah, if I do the like transfer files option, does my best friend transfer to my new phone the same way your Lego man transfers between bodies?

Darren 15:17

Yeah, I uh I uh yeah, I'll give you that.

Sam 15:20

Okay, nice. Then yeah, I pick my fun new artificial friend.

Darren 15:23

But just going back to Emily's point about he trades his friends every five years, Sam genuinely does trade his friends every five years.

Emily 15:29

What number are you, An?

Darren 15:31

What number are we, Sam?

Sam 15:33

You guys might be number six.

Emily 15:34

Are we making the cut you're past warranty then? No, I don't think we are.

Sam 15:38

No, so number of groups years, four or five. Well it's coming up. It's coming up.

Emily 15:46

Has he started declining invitations or has just been a bit more busy?

Darren 15:49

Honestly, we had to lock him into a podcast just so we forced him to still talk to us. We actually don't talk outside of this. We come on, he comes in, he sits at the table, gets behind the mic, and then he leaves without saying a word afterwards.

Sam 16:01

Yeah, I'm just a real diva. You've not done enough of my riders. Like I'm waiting for my trailer.

Emily 16:07

Who's your new friend group that you're you're bubbling up with?

Darren 16:10

It's a DD group, innit?

Emily 16:11

Yeah, isn't it?

Sam 16:12

It might be the D D group that is who is bubbling up.

Darren 16:15

Not the DD group that you're you're doing with us because we're your old friends, which you're gonna ditch. You're just testing the waters with us. It's your new group that you meet with every Tuesday, isn't it? Yeah. I'm not salty about it, Sam. I don't just reporter it. I don't turn up on a Tuesday just to still feel part of the grand gang.

Sam 16:31

Ah, it's even worse because that's where I was before I came here. That's true. I just start brushing board game components off me. Like, it's not what it looks like.

Emily 16:43

I thought about you the whole time.

Darren 16:48

That feels like a really good place to move on. That's the way we're ending it, alright. You can end it another way if you want, Sam. Do you want me to do a quick rang robin of what we're going for?

What If Borrowers Were Real

Darren 16:59

Okay, so next let's go with you, Emily.

Emily 17:02

Okay, so what if borrowers were real, the little people.

Sam 17:06

I'm gonna need so much information about this. I have not heard of the borrowers before. Who are the borrowers?

Emily 17:12

Excuse me?

Sam 17:12

Oh my god.

Emily 17:13

How old are you?

Sam 17:14

29 today. This is my birthday. Is it?

Emily 17:18

You're a terrible friend. There's not even one balloon in here. That's not even a big one. Not one decoration. No one would have known it was your birthday.

Sam 17:25

You know, I dropped hints for weeks about how much I love presents. I love birthday cakes and candles and the whole shebang.

Emily 17:33

You told everyone is his birthday around here. Is his big on it?

Sam 17:36

You know what? My other friendship group got me birthday cards today. And suddenly, happy birthday at midnight.

Emily 17:43

So when Darren like wheels in a pony. You all wait for Cherry.

Darren 17:50

The Shetland pony from before. So there was a time when I I I have for your birthday, I've got your stuff for your birthday. Two things wrong with it. One, we've already established I'm on my way out. So I'm not gonna put any more effort into you because I know I'm like a ticket to ticking clock. Secondly, you don't do presents. No, I don't like the strangest person because you feel if someone gives you a present, there's an obligation that you have to give them something back.

Emily 18:15

I'll give my cookie got your cookie scenario. See, right, okay.

Sam 18:18

Wait, what do you just say? It's a quote off of show, sorry. The cookie cutter quote scenario.

Emily 18:23

No, give me cookie got your cookie.

Sam 18:25

Oh, love new girl. Yeah, I got you cookie, give you cookie, I got you cookie. You give me cookie, I got you cookie. That is exactly how I.

Emily 18:32

But you got no cookie. You got no cookie.

Sam 18:34

This is the problem, right? For like a birthday, you hand me like a gift, you hand me like a card and stuff like that. What you've handed me is an obligation.

Emily 18:41

Oh no. I genuinely believe I deserve the present.

Darren 18:46

Yeah, Sam takes a present and instantly is like, I don't want this. I now owe you. I now owe you.

Sam 18:52

I now have to be thinking. Like, what am I gonna get you as a present? Because I'm not a material person anyway. So, like a good chunk of the time I'm also like, oh, I don't, I'm not super into this anyway.

Emily 19:03

Just when you're with Darren.

Sam 19:05

Just when I'm with Darren, yeah, yeah. I mean, also, the last present that Darren got me for my birthday, he went out of his way to buy the game that I thought was the worst board game I have ever played in my life. And he went out of his way to buy that one.

Darren 19:18

I knew he brought every copy in the shop just so every birthday and Christmas I could give it to you again. Sam played a game at the shop, and all I got from him was tell me about it. He was just like, it's it's terrible. We played it twice, we even changed the rules, it was awful. So I made an effort to go in, not only get him that, but also got him the playmat and everything to go with it.

Sam 19:36

Oh, yeah, it's the deluxe edition.

Emily 19:38

You are dark in the weirdest way.

Darren 19:43

So yeah, Sam Sam really struggles with presence. We've really gone off piece now.

Emily 19:47

What was the question? To to bring it fully back to the borrowers.

Sam 19:51

So for most of our listener base, who are the borrowers?

Emily 19:54

The borrowers are like little little people. Little people. If you've seen Studio Ghibli, like Arietti, that film, you know, just little people, and they just exist small and they come and they borrow things from your house. So when you lose something, it's meant to be the the borrowers have gotten they're like in the walls, and there's a couple of films on it where the human mice. So like they thimbles are like their chairs and stuff like that.

Sam 20:18

Do they bring the things back?

Emily 20:20

No, they've borrowed them.

Sam 20:21

But no, no, it's not borrowing if you don't bring it back. There's a very key aspect.

Emily 20:25

Listen, they've disnified the fact that these little thieves live in your house.

Darren 20:32

As a little person, I do feel a little bit offended from this question.

Sam 20:36

So the question is, do I wish Darren was real?

Emily 20:39

I have noticed things go missing while he's around. Oh, yeah, me too.

Sam 20:43

I'm glad that we're really compiling this. Like my happiness and things just real life to live, any sense of ego or self-worth.

Emily 20:54

But I always remember as a kid, like walking through like a model village and really looking for them and thinking like they'd be so good.

Traps, Theft And Borrowers’ Rights

Emily 21:00

But I would be a bit evil with it. I would catch one and I would keep it.

Darren 21:03

I mean, that is the whole point of the film.

Emily 21:05

Yeah, yeah. I'm the bad guy because I would. I keep, I'd be like, I've I've got you a little outfit, little things. Here's I've made you a doll's house full of cool little and they just want to be free. I'm like, no, you've got to stay with me forever.

Darren 21:16

Terrifying. You pinned it on me when we were talking about consent.

Emily 21:20

Excuse me.

Darren 21:20

You're like for kidnapping a little person.

Emily 21:24

They don't like that term.

Darren 21:28

You're a borrower. You're fully kidnapping a borrower and then forcing it to dress up.

Emily 21:31

Oh forcing. I'll give her several options. She wear what she wants out of the choices. Because of the implication.

Sam 21:40

So the question is just do I would I choose for them to be real?

Emily 21:44

What no, so what would you do if they were real?

Sam 21:46

Oh.

Emily 21:47

Would you leave them be? Would you have a pet one? Would you set little traps to catch them stealing your stuff?

Sam 21:52

I would consider them thieves. So I would kind of hope that they were borrower traps. Like I would hope that they were borrower police. To arrest the borrowers that steal my thing.

Emily 22:02

They'd be underfunded.

Sam 22:05

That is a difficult thing to underfund because like their full like week's meal can just be like half a biscuit. Like they do not need much. I wonder if their minimum wage would be much, much lower.

Emily 22:18

Like rights for borrowers.

Sam 22:20

Rights for borrowers would be a huge thing. I would have 100% campaign for borrower rights. Yeah.

Darren 22:25

The problem with borrower police is why they're giving you a statement. They're also robbing you at the same time.

Sam 22:29

Oh. This feels like one of those, like, how deep into racism are we going here? Yeah.

Emily 22:36

Borrowers, we're not talking about borrowers anymore, are we?

Sam 22:41

It's just like hashtag not all borrower.

Emily 22:43

Can I just stress? I'm genuinely saying I'll capture a borrower. I'm not capturing and keeping other things, okay? Forcing them to dress up.

Sam 22:51

You said little people. Because here's the thing like a borrower is as I'm assuming, because obviously I'm not seen it, they are intelligent as humans.

Emily 22:58

Yeah, they're just like us, but their clothes are a bit makeshift.

Sam 23:01

There is not much difference, in my opinion, between kidnapping a person and kidnapping a borrower, though. Are you pro or anti? I'm very anti-borrower kidnapping and trafficking.

Emily 23:14

Would you not would you not have a nice house for them though? Like, listen, as I'm saying it, I just want to see them have a nice life, that's all.

Darren 23:21

It didn't sound like that earlier, didn't it?

Sam 23:22

It does not sound like that.

Emily 23:23

Really nice little dolls house with like the chairs and stuff.

Sam 23:26

Well, because so this raises the question if a giant came along and plucked you up and put you in a house and like gave you clothes that you got to do.

Emily 23:35

You've described my dream. Take care of me. Buy me clothes and I don't have to go to work ever again. Yes, please.

Sam 23:47

Because this is the other thing. You are kind of describing the male-female relationship for a significant chunk of the 18th and 19th century.

Emily 23:57

Yeah, but only if I'm kept in luxury. I don't want to, I don't want to pour giant like a lot of sweep and stuff, man.

Sam 24:05

Well, that's where you have your borrowers to then do all the cleaning for it. Jack and the Bean slot was an aspirational tale for you where you're like, why did you run?

Emily 24:12

He had a golden egg sex.

Sam 24:17

Like during the divorce, do you get the goose?

Darren 24:21

It depends how good your lawyer is. You only get it every other Friday and Saturday.

Sam 24:26

As long as those are the days it lays the egg, I don't care.

Darren 24:31

I I'm I'd be I'd be happy with the Boris. Yeah. Yeah. Boris would be pretty cool.

Emily 24:35

You could actually blame them on the things really then going missing and not just losing stuff.

Darren 24:39

I'd be honest, it's probably better than the Lego guy from previously because it's more human.

Emily 24:44

You can't swap their heads out.

Darren 24:45

I'd keep the Lego man actually. How do you know I can't swap their heads out?

Emily 24:50

They don't come back. Taxidermithing's not gonna work like that.

Sam 24:54

Yeah, I'd be cool with the borrowers. Yeah, yeah. I'd like to campaign for borrowers' rights, but I'd also campaign that borrowers should serve the same prison sentence for stealing. Like, I am not buying into this cutesy, like, oh, they're so small, it's fine, they're just borrowing the thing. Like, no, I worked for that Rolex. Like, I don't know how I got a Rolex in the snow. Presumably, I also stole it, but I worked to steal this Rolex. You don't get to steal it from me.

Darren 25:18

No, I mean, the only watch I've ever seen you in is the Casio calculator watch. So I could never imagine you in a Rolex.

Emily 25:25

Just type in 80085.

Sam 25:28

You know what? I'm gonna shoot for the moon for this sponsorship. Hey, Rolex, sponsor us. Cure move aside. We now have Rolex. Cule Domino's Wai Food, we don't care. Rolex, come on.

Emily 25:42

Well, we have a choice.

Sam 25:44

The problem is when they send us just one watch and we have to fight over it. You can keep it, it's fine.

Emily 25:50

That will come with consequences.

Darren 25:52

I'm just gonna keep the Lego man, I got everything from Lego. Borisby, I mean, I love that. That film is amazing. That is a film from our chat.

Emily 25:59

That's uh young Draco Malfoy in that, isn't it? That was it. Yeah, the little blonde-haired one. Yeah.

Darren 26:04

No way.

Emily 26:04

Yeah. Wow. It's just his hair's not slicked back, innit?

Darren 26:07

And he's not evil.

Emily 26:08

He's also not evil. He is a bit of a dweeb, though, so yeah. He is.

Darren 26:12

This is such a good, good film.

Emily 26:14

You should watch it, Sam, definitely.

Darren 26:16

Yeah, yeah, I'll check that out after that. But they could be great, because if you befriend them, okay, they're gonna steal off you. That's fine. If you befriend them, they could.

Emily 26:22

Are you saying it's okay for your friends to steal? Because I'm just gonna excuse myself for the whole thing. Yeah, no, no, no.

Sam 26:27

We are in Darren's house right now, and there's a lot of nice things.

Emily 26:29

There is a lot of nice things.

Darren 26:31

See, I moved into wrongly, I think I moved into slavery. I was like, they can have stuff from me as long as they do my bidding.

Sam 26:38

You've also described capitalism. Like you just pay them and they can only buy from you.

Darren 26:42

True.

Sam 26:43

The modern slavery.

Emily 26:46

But they're happy.

Sam 26:48

They work. This is the thing, they work for each other, all right? They give each other money and I get their value.

Emily 26:57

I didn't expect my borrower question to go this way.

Sam 27:01

This is no good options, it always goes there.

Darren 27:03

Where did you expect this question to go?

Emily 27:05

Homely. Homely. Expected you all to talk about dolls' houses and be like, little teeny tiny little furniture and so.

Sam 27:12

So you just assumed we would go straight for kidnapping.

Emily 27:14

No, it's not. I thought they'd want that life. Like they're coming into it willingly. They're choosing the life.

Sam 27:20

They'd be your pets.

Emily 27:21

Yes.

Sam 27:22

Wait, okay, because here's the other thing. If you wanted something with a full human intelligence for you to look after fully, I'm sure you'll get a lot of people who are willing to just be looked after by you.

Emily 27:33

No, no, I don't want to look after a person. I've had that. I divorced it. So now I've just done small things to love.

Darren 27:43

I've done that, so it does feel like a cry for help. I've not got anywhere with real people, so now I need some little people who I can like command.

Emily 27:51

Are you saying borrowers aren't real? If they were real, are you saying they're not?

Darren 27:55

We don't have things going missing out of our house.

Emily 27:57

Do you not?

Darren 27:58

No.

Emily 27:58

Ever. You've never lost anything.

Darren 28:00

No. And if something goes missing today, Emily.

Emily 28:04

Total coincidence.

Sam 28:07

Right. Now let's head over to you,

Swapping Rich And Poor Status

Sam 28:09

Sam. Alright. My one's got a little bit of a lead up. Oh god, it was. Shocking for me, I know. So throughout history, there has been a lot of things where it used to only be that like people of the upper class or the rich could do a thing, and then it swapped to only like the lower class or the poorer people. So these are typically signs of wealth or not wealth. Key examples being having a tan. Right now, having a tan is one of those things where like if you're wealthy, you go, you get fake tan, where it used to be a sign of working in the fields, you got a tan. And so the upper class never got a tan, never went in the sun. Because you could show that you never had to like stay out there. And then obviously, when factories started taking in like more people and more people working inside, less farmers, suddenly the idea of not having a tan is just very normal. And so that totally swapped. This happens quite a lot in food. So things like lobsters and oysters used to be just a peasant's dish kind of a thing. It would be the kind of thing where like servants used to complain about getting served lobster too many times.

Darren 29:05

Sam, can I just ask you, ask, is there a question a question coming up?

Emily 29:13

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sam 29:15

But yeah, and then obviously that switched, and now lobster is considered like a high-class meal. So if you could pick something to make that switch, so something that is typically for like lower income individuals, what would you uh and or something that is typically only for higher income individuals, what would you pick to make that swap?

Prepay Power Meters And Hardship

Emily 29:36

Gas on the meter, lecky and gas on the meter, because that's absolutely a poor person thing. But you know, when you have I don't know if you do know, let me tell you, as an experienced poor person, you get the key and you have to walk up to a shop.

Darren 29:50

Yeah, can I have five pounds on my key, please?

Emily 29:52

Five pounds? And uh and then you'd put your money out and you'd slot it into the meter, it would register. And if it ever ran out, you'd come down like the power would just cut out in your house, and you'd be praying that there was emergency lecky on the meter. Never was.

Darren 30:09

It was a dream. Sam's face absolutely just tells me that he's never had this hardship. No, it is true. I have never had this hardship. Sam, just take the silver spoon out of your mouth so we can hear you properly.

Emily 30:20

It's not alive. It's not alive. Just why was it wiggling? Why is it in your mouth? Yeah, so I would split and actually that is more expensive type of energy than it is paying per month.

Sam 30:37

Yes, I have heard that. Yes. Is that still a thing?

Emily 30:40

Is it still a thing? Yeah. So I would swap that out and make it so actually, because it's so expensive, that's seen as a rich person thing to go onto the nice.

Sam 30:50

I like that.

Darren 30:50

If that's still a thing now, which it is, can you just do it on your phone now though? Can you like upload credits through your phone?

Emily 30:55

I don't know. I'm not as poor as I was. Wait, also clearly paying you too much.

Sam 30:59

Assuming that they get a phone.

Emily 31:02

Yeah. I don't know. I the last time I remember it, it was a blue key. It was a blue key and you had to walk up to the local shop to go to go and get it. Yeah. You won't be like, take this, get me 20 fags while you're at it.

Darren 31:14

I remember that apart from the fags part. I think my mum was more midget gems or wine gums. Oh, really? No.

Emily 31:20

Embassy number one for me. Let's put my mum to, you know.

Sam 31:25

How old were you at this point?

Emily 31:27

Seven.

Sam 31:29

Yeah, Darren, what do you think? I have no idea. What you'd want to make that switch, or just what you think it'd be funniest to make that switch.

Darren 31:37

I'm gonna have to think about this one, i.e., you tell me yours, Sam, so I can steal it.

Sam 31:42

So, right now, sea levels rise too much. Suddenly, having a house on land is a rich person thing, and owning a yacht is only for those of low income because there's so little land to go around.

Emily 31:55

I would be so poorly. I'd be so poorly terrible.

Darren 31:59

I mean, they still wouldn't be able to afford a yacht. They'd still be in like a little dinghy.

Emily 32:03

No, it'd be like waterworld. We'd just grow gills eventually.

Sam 32:08

You drown enough people until one of them like ends up being born with gills.

Emily 32:13

It's got paper. Have you seen that in water world where it's like paper's really expensive?

Darren 32:17

I remember in a previous episode, Sam, the animal trait I said I'd take was gills, even though I don't like open water. Now there's a need for it. There is a need for it. There's rising water too.

Emily 32:25

But you did tell me, you said you took limri growth.

Darren 32:28

That's what I ended up going with. But the first thing I said is about gills, and then I realised that I'm don't like I'm quite scared of open water. So it was a really pointless one. I'd just be able to breathe in the bath.

Emily 32:39

It's been in there a while. But they they wouldn't be yachts, would they? They'd be like rafts all tied together and things.

Darren 32:47

But I I don't I don't know how many things that aren't accessible to a lot of people now. Because let's face it, when I so when I was a kid, we were we were poor and we had nothing. But now people like everyone's got a mobile phone. My nan's neighbours, none of them worked. They always had the latest consoles and TVs and stuff like that. You know, I didn't have that, and my mum did work. So I don't know if how much difference there is between what poor people and rich people have. Obviously, when you get into the yachts, huge houses and all that kind of stuff. But I'm not about general things on a day-to-day basis. I think everyone has access to a lot of stuff these days.

Emily 33:21

Well, I think where oh God, this is a serious question, but I think the difference there is the the knowledge of knowing you can comfortably acquire things. So yes, you can get them, but things you tend not to own them. So I think that's the difference. Like, yes, you have phones, but they're on the tick.

Darren 33:37

In that case, then debt. My answer's debt.

Emily 33:40

Uh but rich people have debt, and that's why they're rich, isn't it? It's a different way.

Sam 33:45

They very specifically don't get taxed for all the stock that they own because they just take out a huge loan against that stock, which they can get at tiny interest rates because the bank knows that stock is going to stay worth that amount. Uh, and then loan income isn't classed as proper income that gets taxed.

Emily 34:01

Here's an example then of like what would be seen as poor but is a rich person thing now, being really skinny.

Sam 34:07

Yeah.

Emily 34:08

At the minute, it's come back into fashion, hasn't it? Being silly skinny. Yeah. Whereas actually, when you're poor, you couldn't eat. So now it's it's over.

Sam 34:16

Very much. It used to be like, oh my god, they're very large. I can't believe they can uh like own that amount of food so they can just eat it and get that big. Yeah.

Darren 34:25

Yeah, where now everyone can afford the jobs and everything, which is tends to be a rich person's game again now, didn't it? Totally get on that.

Sam 34:33

In fact, talking about like the obesity thing, so a rat in Chinese wisdom is considered a sign of like prosperity and doing really well because the Chinese peasants used to be so poor that they were like, oh my god, you've got enough food stored that the rats come to you. That's incredible. Yeah, like it's like it would be a real flex to be like, oh my god, you've got rats. Well done.

Emily 34:54

I think I'm the year of the rat in the Chinese, and I hate it. I want to be a channel, I don't know what rats.

Darren 35:01

It explains a lot. Actually, I think I'm gonna go with like nannies.

Emily 35:07

Oh no. Yeah, no, because just because you want an au pair.

Darren 35:11

You've won an open pad. We want an au pair, can't afford an au pair. It'd be great if we could, you know. I think how much time I'd get back.

Emily 35:19

I mean, I'd still like I don't think that's a right poor to rich swap. That's a rich to upper middle class swap that day.

Darren 35:26

Yeah, that is very much not quite the ranks to riches story.

Emily 35:33

That's the poshiest thing you've ever said.

Sam 35:35

Like you are unfortunately sitting right in the middle of this swap scene where it doesn't change anything.

Emily 35:42

I've not benefited at all from that.

Sam 35:46

I don't know. I I think it's a really difficult one. That's quite a difficult one because I'm trying to this feels like a lot of like you don't know what you don't know. Like, how much are like the upper class of the global elite getting that we just don't know about?

Emily 35:59

Well, I think like having like not to like pity party or anything, but I grew up in poverty. I grew up poor, poor. And and you don't know what you don't have. Like I didn't think I was poor growing up. So only looking back when I was like, damn.

Darren 36:13

But I bet you had some of the best, happiest times.

Emily 36:16

No, it's horrible. No. No, it was. It's like again though, you don't know you're missing something. You're just living your life. It's nice, you cover things, you want things, but you don't realise. Then when you look back like, oh sad for me.

Darren 36:28

You become incredibly resourceful.

Emily 36:30

You do, yeah. We used to have a gas oven, and all it was really I must I don't know when it originated from, and maybe an original gas oven. And it used to have none of the knobs and dials on it. So we used to get pliers and poke it in, then you'd have to put your head into the oven with a match. So you'd have to turn the knob with the plier, and then you shh with the live match to get in. It was fine. Do you know what that is? Character building. Yeah.

Sam 36:55

Yeah.

Emily 36:55

And I am a character.

Sam 36:57

Kids these days don't have enough resilience, they've not nearly set themselves on fire.

Emily 37:01

Have you had a third-degree burn? You don't know you're born.

Darren 37:04

To be fair, when we talk, I can tell just how much poverty you grew up in based on how big your character is now. There's definitely a correlation.

Emily 37:13

I I've got to say, that's the deepest cutting insult I've ever received.

Darren 37:18

Is that not?

Emily 37:20

You are super poor.

Darren 37:23

You know when you interview people and you're like, oh, what are the people like? And you know, everyone has characters. Emily's the person we're talking about.

Sam 37:29

Yeah. I mean, also, I feel like this is cutting insult at me here. Like Darren's just staring at just like, yeah, because Emily's got character.

Emily 37:37

How was your seven holidays to Disney as a kid?

Sam 37:42

You are perfectly middle class. I am very dead middle class. Like, you know, I am the fulcrum from which the wheel turns.

Emily 37:51

Family drove drew a Monday, drove a Monday. Yeah, yeah.

Sam 37:54

Just like drove a car. We went on holiday, but not out of the country.

Emily 37:59

What's that like? Do you know the David Beckham documentary? And Victoria's like, Well, we were poor. And he's like, What did your dad drag? She's like, a Rolls-Royce. And I'm like, I don't think you were poor.

Darren 38:10

It was a secondhand one, though. I think as the serious answers, maybe as AI grows and it becomes it's going to become a real commodity in it. I mean, we spoke about this before, Sam.

Sam 38:21

Yes.

Darren 38:22

It's going to get to the point where only the rich can afford AI. That would be a cool thing to switch.

Sam 38:27

When it gets to that point. Yeah.

AI Access And Handwriting As Luxury

Sam 38:29

See, I was thinking along the similar lines of so much technology is becoming so much cheaper that handwriting is going to be the equivalent to learning Latin because everything's just going to be typed on like an iPad or on a screen, or like even further, just like speech to text. So it's going to reach to the point where it's just sort of like, oh wow, you know, handwriting.

Emily 38:51

I love that you've said that because I m one of my hobbies is writing handwritten letters. Okay. And I write and I go, what you're laughing is change your face.

Darren 39:00

Prison pen pal. Change your face.

Emily 39:02

Prison pen pal. No, but I like so my sis lives in America, have friends in in different parts of the world. Friends, Darren, real ones.

Darren 39:10

And not real enough for them to give them for them to give you the mobile number or an email address.

Emily 39:14

No, I do know what it is about, like handwriting a letter, is you have sat and taken time and then posted it and put it out. You know, I did like the Christmas cards as well, don't you? And I I I put a lot of effort into it. So yeah, it's for me, I find that just a really nice moment to go and write a letter to someone and post it. And I will say, whenever I write a letter, I turn into like a Bronte sister. I'm like do thou farewell, Susney. I do, it's quite poetic when I write. I'm not like, you're right, love. I'm just like vintage shop, but you know, I I do. I like to, yeah, it's like they're quite nice.

Darren 39:49

I've got this image of you like sitting at a sitting at a little writing desk, and like as you're writing, you just look up in the air as you like, your internal monologue is reading it back, staring out the window.

Sam 39:57

It's the wooden desk, it's the full quill.

Emily 39:59

Yeah, I have a fountain pen, I have uh wax seals, yeah. I I put a lot of effort into finding nice letter sets as well. So yeah.

Sam 40:08

Is this like full calligraphy?

Emily 40:10

No, my handwriting's terrible. I'm left-handed.

Sam 40:13

Um is that why you never get any replies? Like none of the replies everything. Do you get replies?

Emily 40:23

Listen, I don't want to go into it. You said about consent, and I choose not to answer that.

Sam 40:28

Earlier, we were talking about the idea of an obligation. Are they obligated to send you a handwritten letter back?

Emily 40:33

If I've sent it, it's been two weeks, I'll text them. No, I won't. Yeah.

Darren 40:36

Oh no, yeah.

Sam 40:37

No. Because I was just thinking, like, are you would you get offended if they emailed you back?

Emily 40:41

Like, oh I wouldn't like an email, but I I so some of my friends they do just call me, like, I've got your letter. It was lovely, thank you so much. And we have a chin wag, you know.

Darren 40:49

Do you know this is an easier way to communicate though, Emily?

Emily 40:52

No, I don't have anyone say they don't like getting a letter. I'll like I'll ask you two. When was the last time you got a letter that wasn't a bill or a birthday card?

Sam 41:01

There's a very real chance that I've literally never received a letter.

Emily 41:05

Yeah, just to say, this is what I've been up to, thinking about you. How are you? And I just think that what a nice surprise that was.

Sam 41:12

Actually, wait, postcards. Do postcards count? No one sends postcards these days.

Emily 41:16

They maybe just count.

Sam 41:17

Just okay, I've had postcards.

Emily 41:18

Yeah, that's like someone bringing your magnet off holiday. You don't really want it, do you? Like and everyone's read your message before it arrives. They've all had a thing. You're telling me the postman had a reader that was great. You won't want it like, oh I was gonna say something really inappropriate then. And I don't know what PG rating this is.

Darren 41:36

We've established that Sam is so middle ground, there is nothing of any interest in that posting postcard.

Sam 41:42

Go on, what were we gonna say?

Emily 41:45

Like, postcards are so like everyone's reading. Imagine if you like got crabs, or like I caught something off you when I was posted to it home.

Sam 41:54

Wait, no, no, it's even better. It's like, are you still stalking the postman? Yeah, the day you catch them.

Emily 42:00

Hope it's the one with the shorts on.

Sam 42:02

Like I heard you liked that one the most. It's just like playing around. Like, I don't think hiding their van's going to do it, but cutting their brakes might work.

Emily 42:12

He's tending it to you. It's like he's knocked on, he's not posted.

Sam 42:16

He's just there, like he's left it at the bottom of the garden and running away.

Darren 42:19

How cool would it be to actually really mess with the postman by doing something like that?

Sam 42:23

Oh, that would be amazing. But also, I feel like you don't get the postcards, you just get a police knock on the door.

Emily 42:29

Not if it's can you stalk the postman if he's come into your house?

Sam 42:32

So, because this is something that I learned. Is that the consent?

Emily 42:36

Asking for a friend.

Sam 42:38

He knocked on mine. What I did after that is he knocked on he asked, he was asking for it. This is a real thing. Postmen are allowed to blacklist addresses. So it most commonly happens with aggressive dogs. So, for instance, like if the postman's like putting a letter through the door and then like the dog jumps up and like bites their fingers, you just don't get post anymore delivered to you. You have to go to the post office to collect it. Do you take your aggressive dog with you? Have you been blacklisted, Sam?

Emily 43:04

Is this how you know? Yeah, it's just an extill fact.

Sam 43:06

It was all the postcards Darren was sending me.

Darren 43:09

The problem is that Sam doesn't have an animal, so it's just him at the door barking at me at post.

Sam 43:14

Yeah, if anything, I was reveal re relieved when I just got blacklisted and not arrested for assault.

Darren 43:21

So yeah, I'm going with AI credits.

Sam 43:24

AI credits. That's not even a thing yet.

Darren 43:26

You're just predicting that in the future, is if you'd have said to people back when that you know having a tan had been for the poor and one day it would be for the I mean, you did say for the rich, but people just got a sunbed now, so it's not really a rich person thing. But I get what you'd say when people go on holiday and that. They didn't know at the time. They they said you're crazy that that'd be uh a rich man's game.

Emily 43:45

They literally all said Sam was crazy. Everyone said it in the 1800s. Yeah.

Gap Years, Harmony And Goodbyes

Sam 43:49

I think my pick is going to be like jet setting, traveling the world. I'm just gonna take a year and find myself. Oh, like gap yark, and like not needing to worry about money while just traveling to all these places. I'm changing my answer. It somehow like switches to just being like, oh no, we just you can't possibly travel outside of the country. My assets could be seized, so I have to stay here.

Darren 44:14

I'm sure some rich people do genuinely worry about that anyway. Yeah, it's a great answer, Sam. I'm probably gonna switch to that. No, no feeling, this is the rule. No, it's not. Okay, I'll change it slightly. No, I'm not, I'm gonna go for exactly the same. It's a good answer. Emily. Well, Darren's thinking of a better answer.

Emily 44:31

I don't know, I don't want to like jump on the bandwagon in ahead, but I do like that one of like the gap year swapping over because I'm too old for a gap year. But yeah, me too.

Darren 44:40

I wish I could do a gap yeah.

Emily 44:41

Yeah, I wish I could do a gap.

Darren 44:42

I wish you'd just say gap year properly. No, I've got to say gap ya.

Emily 44:46

That's how Theodore and Poppy would say it doesn't it went on a gap year.

Sam 44:50

Yar, gap yar and Cambodia, yeah. And um kept Samuel the third of his life.

Emily 44:57

Like everything was free because mum and daddy paid for it. Yeah, that'd be great if William was able to do that. So when he grows up, go and do it. Because I know I just went straight to work, down mine. Downt mine. Down to mine. Yeah, 12-hour shift from his father.

Sam 45:12

So went from straight from school, straight into work.

Darren 45:16

That's why she looks so aggregate at a tender age of.

Sam 45:19

I did that too. I'm not gonna finish that.

Emily 45:21

You have chosen wise.

Darren 45:25

So that means if we're all gonna go, all gonna go for the same thing, Sam. You know what that means, don't you? It does know what that means. Emily has no idea what that means.

Emily 45:33

I feel like I should have been pre-warned before making my choice as to what that would mean.

Sam 45:37

It means that all at the same time, we're going to say harmony. But like, harmony. This is a real thing.

Darren 45:45

This is something that Sam created. And um, like I said, he will sing at some point in every every episode.

Sam 45:53

I thought it'd be worse. I can live with that. Yeah, yeah, I know. This is like pretty good if we're all I'm like doing it.

Darren 45:58

Harmony. See, one day we'll actually sound like a band. We'll get there.

Emily 46:04

Speak for yourself, I'll nail that.

Sam 46:06

How dare you? Listen, I know I'm letting the team down. I mean, we do want to say it, but we might have to replace you. If you can't get this harmony up, pick a key, Darren. I'll just go on drums, okay?

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Darren 46:19

So that's it for this episode. I've been Darren and I've been joined by Sam and Emily. And we've been No Good Options. If you've enjoyed this episode, then make sure to rate us on your podcast platform of choice and share it around. If you want to see your scenarios on a future episode or just want to get in touch, then you can reach us at nogood optionspodcast@ gmail.com. Thanks for listening. Until next time. Bye.

Band 46:43

We made it weird like you knew we would. Oh what was your answer? Quick No Good Options.