Ep.8: Sprinting, Second Chancing and a Hell of a Theme Tune

In this episode of No Good Options, Darren, Sam and Kara debate whether it would be better to fly at 20 miles per hour or run at 70, decide between having a personal theme tune or a laugh track following them everywhere, and consider whether they would accept the ability to live every day twice.

Along the way, they discuss road tax for super-speed runners, flying window cleaners, musical entrances, Sams early rendition of our theme tune before it actually existed, and whether a day that gets erased ever really happened. As always, the questions begin lightly before spiralling a surprisingly bleak discussion thanks as always to Sam.

Look out for new episodes every 2 weeks and if you enjoy this episode, we'd really appreciate a good rating on your podcast platform of choice and a share with anyone who enjoys questionable debates and impossible decisions. If you want to find out more or you have a scenario you'd like us to discuss in a future episode then head over to www.nogoodoptions.co.uk

Disclaimer: The views, opinions, arguments, and questionable decisions discussed in this episode are part of a light-hearted comedy conversation based on hypothetical scenarios. Nothing in this podcast should be taken as professional advice, factual guidance, or a serious life plan. Listener discretion is advised.

Transcript

Darren 0:29

Hello and welcome to No Good Options, the podcast where we ask the what if, if you could, and the would you rather questions that are just begging to be asked. I'm your host, Darren, and with me today is my co-host. Sam. And our special guest. Kara. So let's kick things off with Kara. What have you got for us?

Kara 0:45

Would you rather be able to fly at 20 miles per hour or run at 70 miles per hour?

Darren 0:52

Is there any reason for the numbers particularly?

Kara 0:54

Because flying has so many advantages, it's got to be weighted. Okay. So you're going to be able to run on land quicker than you can fly in the air, just else if it was at the same speed, everyone would always pick flight.

Darren 1:05

So let me get this straight. What you're asking is, would you rather fly or just walk a bit quicker? You're giving people the option to fly.

Sam 1:12

70 miles per hour is a huge amount quicker. Like that's not like a little bit quicker. That's like I don't need a car anymore.

Darren 1:18

You try to go 70 miles an hour over water. Well, you could fly at 20 miles an hour over the water.

Sam 1:22

Yeah, but my commute doesn't take me over water. My commute takes me over roads where I try and go 70 miles an hour.

Darren 1:28

So you can fly, and then what you're thinking of is oh, I could get to work quicker.

Sam 1:32

I mean, flying's not giving me much income, right? Still got to pay the bills. But it'd be fun. It'd be fun, but I don't know, like I don't need to pay petrol, no road tax. You wouldn't if you flew. If you fly, you're not paying petrol roads. How slow are you getting to work if you're averaging 20 miles per hour?

Kara 1:48

So I actually did some little bit of geography research into this. If you wanted from where we are in the UK, if you wanted to get to London, it would take you about two hours to run at 70 miles per hour, it would take you eight hours to fly. If you wanted to get to New York, it would take you seven days to fly to New York.

Darren 2:11

And how are you gonna run there?

Kara 2:12

You're obviously not gonna be able to run there, but flying is not like how do you take breaks in them seven days over the middle of the ocean?

Sam 2:20

I mean, so like how tiring is flying? Is this like I'm as tired as walking or yeah?

Kara 2:25

So these are basically like it's sort of as if you'd gone for a nice leisurely stroll. You can't leisurely stroll for seven days.

Darren 2:32

So let's just take your your scenario there, going to was it New York? New York, yeah. Okay. If I was going to New York, I'd do it the same way I'd do it now. I'd get on a plane and I'd fly that way because it's quicker. If I wanted to do my early my my daily commute, like you, Sam, then I'd fly. Because as the crow flies rather than the road network, it would be a hell of a lot quicker.

Kara 2:52

But you don't have to run on the road network.

Darren 2:55

What, I'm gonna run through the farmers' fields and into the hedges?

Kara 2:58

Well, yeah, why can't you?

Darren 2:59

Because I can run at 70 miles an hour. It doesn't mean I can jump quick enough for that.

Kara 3:02

No, no, but you have walking paths which would cut out large sections of the road.

Sam 3:09

Which I'm going at 70 miles an hour. So I think what Darren's saying is do we get increased reflexes and like thinking about it? Oh yeah, yeah.

Kara 3:16

You're not gonna hurt yourself at 70 miles. You're not gonna like start tripping over stuff because you're going too quick. You yeah, you have the reflexes.

Sam 3:24

So we're traveling 70 miles per hour, but it's kind of like the equivalent of allegedly stroll. So like we could stop as quickly as allegedly stroll, we can avoid things as easy as allegedly stroll.

Darren 3:34

Yeah, our reactions as quick as well. Yeah. Okay.

Sam 3:37

Like, yeah, it is the equivalent of allegedly slow. Like you're going down the motorway and it looks like all the cars are just, you know, normal pedestrians on the road. Like you don't feel like they're going crazy quick.

Darren 3:48

Yeah. Because I'm thinking if you hit somebody at 70 miles an hour because you can't react quick enough, that's gonna hurt. You've seen the videos if a car hits somebody at 30 miles an hour and it does something. Imagine you running into a car at 70 miles an hour. So you've got trouble.

Kara 4:01

At that point, you've got to ask the question, how clumsy are you when you're leisurely trolling?

Sam 4:05

Ooh, pretty clumsy. I mean, I'm pretty clumsy standing still. Like any movement gets bad. I I'd perhaps avoid the flying and the running then, to be honest. Well, because like flying, I'm assuming like I fall over, I just catch myself with my flights. I stumble over things way less.

Darren 4:25

Or would you have to have a run-up?

Kara 4:26

No, you would stumble over things less.

Sam 4:29

Yeah, because I just get to like float over them.

Kara 4:32

Oh, yeah, but there's lots of birds to avoid. You can't fly as high as a plane.

Darren 4:37

Hang on, there's a height limit on this flying now.

Kara 4:40

Well, yeah, because I don't think you could.

Darren 4:45

So if you're running at 70 miles now, it all the laws of physics change. But if you're flying, the laws of physics are relevant.

Kara 4:53

Flying still is the same amount of energy expendited as a leisurely stroll, but you still have the fact that the air gets thinner as you get heightened.

Sam 5:02

So Darren is talking just yes, Darren's talking about the fact that like it's very difficult to breathe when travelling at 70 miles per hour.

Darren 5:10

I would also I would also say you said it's a flying as a tiring as going for a stroll. I could do about 100 metres of flying and then I'd have to take a rest. I'm incredibly unfit. So I don't think flying is gonna work for me, and I definitely don't have the energy to run at 70 miles an hour.

Sam 5:26

I mean that's the same for leisurely stroll. So I guess you can go like 100 metres in what less than a second.

Darren 5:31

Have you seen me do a leisurely stroll?

Sam 5:34

See, because am I still paying like road tax? Like if I'm still using the motorweight, am I going through my shoes quicker?

Darren 5:40

It feels like this. The road tax is a really big issue for you.

Sam 5:42

Road tax could be a big issue because like what if they charge me at the highest rate?

Kara 5:45

You're not gonna you're not gonna pay road tax because it's the same as people on horses don't pay road tax, runners don't pay road tax. So you're not gonna pay road tax. Yeah, potentially you're gonna go through your running shoes much quicker.

Darren 5:58

Not potentially. There is no running shoes that exist which are capable of supporting speeds of 70 miles an hour.

Kara 6:05

But if everybody could, if there was like 50% of the world was fine and 50% of the world was running at 70 miles an hour, somebody would create them shoes.

Sam 6:14

What wait, so you're saying 50% of people get this option?

Kara 6:17

No, no, just like it. No, that was just like an arbitrary figure of like if if you were given this choice, if everybody was given this choice, however, many people like more than whatever would choose running, so therefore the shoes would be created to last.

Sam 6:34

See, I think at that point. Because my answer probably changes. If I know that everyone's been given this option, I'm probably picking flying because so many things will become f only accessible through flying. It would become a major daily inconvenience to not be the person with flights.

Kara 6:50

Possibly.

Darren 6:51

Ah, the building's on fire, you can't use the lift to jump out the window and fly down.

Sam 6:55

Yeah, like you're expected to jump out the window and say, oh no, I'm the one who took 70 miles per hour running. And it's like, ah, sorry, you can't have this one.

Darren 7:02

I could run down the stairs at 70 miles an hour, but I'm clumsy.

Kara 7:06

But somebody that flew could help you.

Sam 7:08

Are you still subject to like normal speed limits? Like if I run through a 30 mile per hour zone at 70 miles per hour, do I get a ticket?

Darren 7:15

Oh my god, I could just imagine everyone just standing next to speed cameras and running just to see if it goes off. People do that now. They do that now, yeah. Well, you know the digital ones where you can run past and it tells you your live speed. How many people? I mean, I've even tried that just to see if it clocks me. Imagine running past it at 70 miles an hour.

Kara 7:33

I mean, you'd set the speed camera off, but you are not as a runner. But you don't have another camera. Yeah, as a runner, it's a runner, you don't have to abide by the laws of the road.

Sam 7:43

Which is fine if like everyone's been given this option. If you're the only person who's capable of running at 70 miles per hour and they're like, oh yeah, there's this person who got caught at 70 miles an hour. I wonder who it could be. Is it the only person in the world capable of running at this speed? Would you be banned from the Olympics?

Darren 7:58

Would they know?

Sam 7:58

Would you mean, oh, like you're slow rolling yourself, like you're just fast enough.

Darren 8:03

This is full-on shark in people at pool, you know. Oh, I'm I'm just not very good. You lose your first one.

Sam 8:10

You wait like a couple seconds after the starting pistol and then go.

Darren 8:14

After you put your bet on. You lose the first one, and you're like, oh, I'm just not very good at this. Million dollars on the next one.

Sam 8:20

Like million dollars are a break the world record, and you you just beat it, and then you just keep besting.

Kara 8:25

But you could do the same with flying, you could do the long jump or the triple jump and really like set records on that.

Sam 8:31

Oh, that's probably much better, actually. Easier to hide. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Much easier to hide.

Darren 8:37

But with running, you could win all the races: the sprint, the 200 metres, the four hundred metres, the eight hundred metres. Just naming lengths. You're gonna go through them all. So, what would you go with? Sure question.

Kara 8:51

Honestly, I'd go with running.

Darren 8:52

But you are an avid runner.

Kara 8:54

Yes. So yeah.

Sam 8:55

Well, yeah, so you don't need to like run longer. I also go flying. Like it's just far more convenient day to day.

Darren 9:01

I think flying would be fun as well. I can walk already. I know it's boring. Why do I want to walk quicker?

Kara 9:06

Um I'm scared of heights.

Sam 9:07

You don't have to fly high. If you can fly, do you think you put more cupboards on like the ceiling of your house?

Darren 9:12

Not if your ceilings are only like two and a half metres tall. It's kind of pointless.

Sam 9:16

I don't know. I feel like the average ceiling is high enough that I can put a little bit of storage there, like a couple of shelves stuck to the ceiling.

Darren 9:22

What it would mean is, Cara, you wouldn't need the little step every time you want to get in the top cupboard. Think amount of time you'd say not having to get the step out.

Kara 9:30

Actually, yeah, just for that, I would think I would actually go with flying. That'd be much more beneficial.

Darren 9:36

Darren, can you just get the flower off the top shelf?

Sam 9:38

Just float up there and get it yourself. I mean, what job becomes much easier if you can fly? Like window cleaner. Pilot does not get easier if you can fly. That just takes away the fear of crashing. Like you jump out the window instead.

Darren 9:51

No, I'm not on about the pilot flying flying. I mean, they can fly a plane. You still class them as the flying.

Sam 9:56

I don't know if that counts. It does, yeah. So what was the question? What jobs become easier if you can fly?

Kara 10:02

Window cleaner.

Sam 10:03

Window cleaner's a big one.

Darren 10:04

But hang on, window cleaners have a great big pole now. They don't get up on ladders anymore.

Kara 10:08

Yeah, but not the ones that do skyscrapers. That bloke on the shaw didn't do it with a massive long pole, is it?

Darren 10:14

It'd be funny to watch if it was. It would.

Kara 10:16

No, he's got a bridge painter.

Sam 10:20

Bridge painter is also up there. See, I feel like we're running into a problem that like most of the jobs we cut, because I was gonna be like, oh, like camera operator for those like high shots, and it's like drones exist. I was like, courier drones exist. Drones are gonna take most of your flying jobs.

Kara 10:33

Do you reckon drones are gonna start painting bridges?

Sam 10:35

Oh yeah, probably that's not even a question. No for you.

Kara 10:38

That was silly.

Sam 10:39

Yeah, that's not even a question. That's not even a question. Like the things they're attaching to drones now are more complex than spray can.

Kara 10:48

Yeah, suppose if you were a graffiti artist, it would be very helpful to fly. Maybe something like a sailor, because if your boat gets into trouble, you can just fly out of trouble.

Darren 10:58

Well, unless you're in the middle of the ocean.

Sam 11:00

Yeah, I was gonna say, because like I can't leisurely stroll several thousand miles from to the nearest shore. Yeah, that's true.

Darren 11:05

I'm a I'm I'm a sailor who just goes near the coast. I never take the big journey.

Kara 11:10

Like them people that you go on boat trips with when you're on holiday. That kind of stuff.

Darren 11:14

So basically, you're a sailor for Lake Windermere. Yeah. Just going up and down the lake. Yeah. In the event that it does capsize through rough waters, you can just fly to the beach.

Sam 11:24

Yeah, I was gonna say, if I'm a tourist and like I find out that like, oh yeah, the captain has so little faith in her vessel that she is only doing it because she can fly away when she crashes it. I'm not paying you for tours. So you're going with running?

Kara 11:38

I'm going with running.

Sam 11:39

Sam. Wait, no, you were going with flying before. You've changed your mind.

Kara 11:42

No, I went with running initially. The only benefit to flying is reaching top shelves in the kitchen.

Sam 11:47

Yeah, I'm definitely picking flying.

Darren 11:48

It's just way easy to get around. I'm definitely picking flying. Picking running. Flying would be so much more fun. Like I said, I can walk already. I can't fly. Sam, we could like we could fly places together. Yeah. In fact, actually.

Kara 12:00

But I could run to the same place significantly quicker. You couldn't, because we wouldn't tell you where we're going.

Sam 12:04

Yeah, we're going up. You can't come hang out with us up.

Kara 12:10

You'd be like, oh, we're going in town. I'd be like, oh, see you in half an hour then I'll be there first, twiddling my thumbs, reading my book.

Sam 12:16

Which I mean waiting. You've always got the best seats at any concert.

Kara 12:20

Yeah, because I'm getting there quicker.

Sam 12:21

Yeah, no, you'll get to the concert quicker, but I just fly above the crowd and then I get to like front row as far close as I want.

Kara 12:28

Yeah, but if everybody else is flying, then I'm I'm a winner on the ground by myself.

Darren 12:33

Well, apart from the other 50% of people who are stuck running, yeah, who set up at the same time.

Sam 12:39

Also, is it a nightmare to like burn enough calories? Because like a leisurely stroll gets you at 70 miles per hour. So are you gonna be going some real speeds to like work up a sweat and be exercising enough?

Darren 12:50

Oh, if running 70 miles an hour is a stroll, what happens if you decided to sprint?

Kara 12:54

Oh yeah, because twice as fast, right?

Sam 12:58

Wait, does that mean that if I'm sprinting, I get to fly at 40 miles per hour? But the problem is I can sprint for a very, very short distance. So I'll be 40 miles an hour for like 50 metres and then the other issue is that flying isn't legs, flying is arms. Wait, I'm flapping my arms?

Kara 13:14

But yeah, you're not flapping your legs to fly, are you?

Sam 13:17

I mean, don't don't act like that's a ridiculous thing. Why am I flapping anything?

Darren 13:23

Because everyone knows flapping your arms makes you fly.

Sam 13:25

I was thinking this was gonna be like Superman style flight, but no, this is like pushing my arms again. Because like, if you're flapping my arms, why can't I kick my legs at the same time? It's not just swimming. In the air. Air swimming.

Kara 13:38

I don't know. It's awful and apart.

Sam 13:42

What do you mean this reality isn't real?

Darren 13:44

You come on going, I just want to let people know that I run. What scenario can I kick in?

Sam 13:51

But actually, I run 70 miles per hour, which is why I pick flight, because I can already do.

Darren 13:57

So I'm going with flying as well, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flying. I think it's two against one on this one, Kara.

Kara 14:03

It's always you get you pair against me.

Darren 14:05

That's because you're normally wrong. So would you rather have a personal theme tune that plays whenever you enter a room or a laughing track that plays after everything you say? We were talking about laughing tracks earlier.

Sam 14:19

We were talking about laughing tracks earlier. I feel like the problem with after everything you say, and it's just sort of like, oh no, like someone's passed away. And then So, what would your theme tune be? Oh, I mean, it would be like Live Rendition, come on. The theme tune to this podcast, of course. Like, no good options. At least you got the name right this way. No good options.

Darren 14:43

That's your personal theme tune.

Sam 14:45

What's your personal theme tune? I think I nailed mine. I mean, mine's um I never said I was going with that option. Go on rendition of the laugh track, then. Sound like a room full of people. Woo. Woo! Woo, cheer. Every time you say anything, it's just sort of like, oh, can I have uh burger and fries, please? And you get woo, cheer.

Darren 15:15

Yeah, it's not, it's more of a sarcastic just slow clapping. Well done. That's funny. Fine. Go on, Cora.

Kara 15:28

Oh, I cannot stand the sound of can laughter.

Darren 15:33

Oh, is that what it is? It's it I thought I was like having an audience of people following around. Yeah, yeah. Does that change your answer?

Kara 15:42

No. Because I don't want a crowd of people following me everywhere I go.

Darren 15:49

Much if you talked in your sleep. There's a crowd of people just watching you, waiting for it.

Kara 15:53

That's even worse than the can laughter.

Darren 15:55

So you're going with a theme tune?

Kara 15:57

Yeah.

Darren 15:58

What's your theme tune?

Kara 16:00

I I don't know.

Darren 16:01

I think you do.

Kara 16:02

I don't.

Darren 16:03

What'd be your theme tune to life? To life. Yeah, like what's that song where you go, this is a bit of me, this is.

Kara 16:09

I don't know.

Darren 16:11

I think you do.

Kara 16:11

I don't have that song. Well, okay.

Sam 16:14

Also, I've just I've been looking this up and I've decided exactly what my theme tune would be. I've just been taking a second to be setting it up, but it's like, hey, got a question. Try this one. What if it all went wrong? When fun, a little laugh, a little dread. We chase the what if round our heads. Turn it over, spin it around. Every answer hits the ground. No good options. No good options. Pick your poison, let it talk. No good options. Every time. Every time I enter a room, I will pay for this. Actually, like I'm gonna save so much money because I already pay for this service every time I enter a room. Ah God, I hope that comes out great in the edit, or it's never gonna see the light of day. That was so beautiful. That's it. I nailed it. We were putting a bunch, ton of thought into our theme tune, but that's it. That's gonna be our theme tune at the beginning of every episode. Oh, I don't even know what to say now. Everyone listening is gonna be like, well, yeah, of course. They they picked the theme tune at the beginning of the episode. Like, it sounds the exact same.

Kara 17:32

That will just be the theme tune to no good options now. Just you doing that. We'll just cut that bit out.

Sam 17:38

I mean I'm a little hurt that I'm not hearing anyone else talking about.

Darren 17:43

Oh, that's rotely. That was beautiful, Sam. It really was.

Sam 17:47

It's it was a rendition.

Darren 17:50

It was live and raw. That's what I liked about it. It was full of just passion. Who needs AI? Well, AI wrote it for you, so probably you. So, Sam, you're going for the theme tune.

Sam 18:07

Oh, theme tunes, 100%. Like, you cannot exist in your daily life with a full life track, and even more so with a bunch of people behind you. Like, what happens if you get into like so you're on like a slide, let's say, like a slide at water park where it's one person at a time. Can you just not talk anymore until they've all come back down the slide behind you? So if you're going down the slide and you go, we does that count? This is me asking you this question. Does that count?

Darren 18:32

Why are you asking me this question?

Sam 18:33

It's your question.

Darren 18:34

Oh yeah.

Sam 18:36

Or like, you know, are they all just like laughing down the water slide and you just hear this horrifying little echo of like ha ha ha ha ha. What happened?

Darren 18:48

Ha ha ha ha ha. Are they laughing or now singing at me? Is that when they break into your theme tune? No good options. So at what point with the laughing would you think that they're just mocking you?

Kara 19:04

From minute one.

Darren 19:05

Oh no, I'd think I'm the funniest person I've learned to start.

Kara 19:08

I'm not funny. So yeah, no.

Sam 19:11

But this is your chance.

Kara 19:13

No, because it's just annoying.

Sam 19:14

Oh, I don't know. If you start out like your career is like a like a comedian, and like everyone in the audience is like, oh, they're not very good, but literally everyone else is laughing from the sounds of it. Like I better laugh because I don't want to look like the only person.

Kara 19:27

Laughing is contagious.

Sam 19:29

Laughing is contagious. I think I set myself up as a comedian. But the problem is, like, I come out on stage and it was like, and like, you know, thank you everyone for being here. Ha ha ha. Not even started my set yet.

Kara 19:42

Like, it is a bit obsessed. It's too much that it would be after every sentence that you said, not even after you tried to say something funny.

Darren 19:50

What if you just never close your sentence off with a full stop? Say, comma or semicolon. If you want to mix it up a bit. Never.

Sam 19:57

That's it, you're done.

Darren 19:58

Never full stop. I feel like I don't say full stop in real life.

Sam 20:01

So as long as I don't say full stop in real life, they never laugh. Then how do how do people know when you finish a sentence? I say over after every sentence. Over. Oh. So Sam, you were going with Oh yeah, theme tune. I'm gonna save a ton of money from the string quartet I already have following me round.

Darren 20:20

Already? I zoned out the rendition you did of your own theme tune. So hurtful. So hurtful? Because I wanted every time to be the first time.

Kara 20:29

Theme tune.

Sam 20:30

You have to sing the theme tune if you're picking theme tune.

Kara 20:32

Yeah, but mine's gonna be something like umpa lumpa, isn't it?

Darren 20:41

You get to pick the theme tune. Why would you pick that for yourself?

Kara 20:44

Because then I get to do a nice little model swap thing.

Sam 20:48

Every time you enter a room.

Kara 20:50

Would you paint yourself orange and have green hair?

Darren 20:53

No, but you just get to do that little weird bouncy thing every time you started this off like we were gonna pick umpa umpa to you, and you were really disappointed, and now you've really leaned into it, and you're like, oh yes, this is this is a bit of me.

Sam 21:07

Yeah, no, that does really feel like, oh no, don't pick umpa lumper as the song. I'd hate that. Oh fine, I'll do the bounce. It's just like, oh no, you don't have to. Oh no, if you're forcing me into Umpa Lumpa.

Kara 21:25

Or like that duck song where it's like Andy Waddle away, waddle.

Darren 21:29

And the waddled away, waddle waddle. That'd be your outro one. You come in as an umpa lumper and leave as a waddling duck. Oh, that was too good.

Sam 21:39

Like the duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, Hey, got any grapes? What is going on? That's the song.

Kara 21:51

What is it going on? He's like, Waddle Waddle.

Sam 21:54

Annie waddled away, what a waddle.

Darren 21:58

Annie waddled away. Just because of both of this, I'm going with laughter.

Sam 22:05

Oh, yeah, because here's the problem for your theme tune. It's me and Kara singing your theme tune for you, whatever you pick.

Darren 22:12

In that case, then, both of you in sync without any conferring. What would that theme tune be? The eyes you're giving each other is you're not telepathic. This isn't gonna be. No, no, no. I want to follow your lead on this one.

Kara 22:24

Oh, I have no idea.

Darren 22:26

You just gotta go for it.

Sam 22:27

This is your audition tape. Oh wait, no, what's the only to like he's the Grinch? He hates Christmas. He's the mean evil Grinch.

Darren 22:39

Grinchy Grinchy, Grinchy Grinch. I don't hear any backing vocals from Kara.

Kara 22:45

And too busy laughing.

Darren 22:47

Do you want to try that one again?

Sam 22:49

Oh my god, you're you want this. I was insane. Oh yeah. I need a follow-up, Kara. Like, I need a different.

Kara 22:56

I don't know.

Darren 22:57

No, no, I think I think you got the song right.

Sam 22:59

Oh no, you want the Grinch.

Darren 23:00

The Grinch really suits me. I mean, I do hate Christmas just for the record. But I need Kara to really put some hot soul inside. Okay, okay.

Sam 23:08

So like it's gonna be some simple lyrics. We're gonna go with like, he's the Grinch.

Kara 23:12

Shut it out of the Grinch.

Sam 23:14

The meeny meeny Grinch.

Kara 23:16

Get it out of the Grinch.

Sam 23:18

He hates Christmas.

Kara 23:20

Oh, poor Christmas.

Sam 23:22

He hates you.

Kara 23:24

Boom boo boom boom.

Darren 23:26

Okay, I'm going with a theme tune. I'm changing. I'm going with a theme tune. I'm going with that. I'd be quite happy to walk in a room and have you two like appear out of nowhere and sing that for me no matter where I am.

Sam 23:38

This feels like the obligatory episode in any like long-running sitcom where they all just like all the cast have to sing for whatever reason.

Darren 23:47

The musical episode.

Sam 23:48

The musical episode.

Darren 23:50

I think we've all established we'd all like a theme tune. And Sam did a great job of pretty much singing them all. And you cara. Yeah. It's a rare occasion where we all agree with each other on one which could have gone either way.

Sam 24:03

In fact, now feels like the time for us to say the word we say when we've all decided the same. Okay, here we go.

Darren 24:11

I've just had to listen to this in the edit multiple times. Go on, Sam. Well, no, no, no. Are we all doing it? Oh my. I think that concludes that one. Mm-hmm.

Sam 24:20

Yep, probably wraps that one up.

Darren 24:22

Yeah. So on to the final one. Sam, what have you got for us?

Sam 24:26

Alright. So the option is guy comes up to you, mysterious guy, big coat, you know, dark hat, you know. Hey kid, you want you want a special ability? And the special ability is you live every single day twice and only the second day sticks. Do you take the option?

Darren 24:43

Sorry, I've not been called kid in such a long time. It made me feel really happy and young.

Sam 24:47

I mean, this is this is like an elder god who's found you. Like you are but a blink in the eye. Do you take that?

Darren 24:53

Oh god ya.

Sam 24:54

Yeah?

Darren 24:54

Yeah, that's a great deal.

Sam 24:56

That's a great deal, Cara.

Kara 24:57

I'm really struggling with this one. I just think if you lived every day twice, it'd get oh no, but you could win the lottery multiple times. Yeah, no, definitely every day twice.

Sam 25:07

Because like, would it get tedious after a while?

Kara 25:09

Yeah, but I'd have a lot of money.

Sam 25:11

You would have a tremendous sum of money.

Kara 25:13

But at what point do they think there's an issue here? This one person keeps winning every single week.

Darren 25:18

You don't win every week because the jackpot won't be big enough. Let it let it roll over a few times.

Sam 25:23

Yeah, yeah. Like, I feel like because you know, the biggest it gets it's like hundred, hundred and fifty million. You're set for life on that one. I don't think I need more than that.

Kara 25:30

Yeah, but you'll just get greedy because you're living a double life.

Sam 25:34

Well, no, because this is the point of a double life is like, oh, I'm gonna like fork out and like go race on the Nerbo ring. I'm going to like exclusively book out the Eiffel Tower in day one, day two, you've still got all your money and the memory of doing those events. So you don't need to spend as much.

Darren 25:49

I suppose the downside is if you go through any trauma on a particular day and there's no getting out of it. Oh, yeah. And you've got to relive that trauma again.

Sam 25:57

Are you obligated to prevent accidents?

Darren 26:00

Well, this is what I was gonna lead on to because you could read some of the news, that's local. Are you gonna interfere at that point?

Sam 26:07

Yeah, you know, like on the news, young boy falls into a river, parents grieving. Like you're pretty much forced into going and saving that little boy.

Darren 26:14

Could you live with the guilt if you didn't?

Sam 26:16

I don't think so. And that's every single day.

Darren 26:19

Yeah.

Kara 26:20

Yeah, that's tough existence.

Darren 26:21

I mean, on a completely opposite note, we've got a little one at the moment, and I have to get up like three times during the night. I am knackered. Imagine doing that six times in two nights, that's the same night, and then doing that for months like I'm now.

Sam 26:35

Here's the dark callousness of it, because that first night doesn't count. Do you bother? Like, you know, your son's not going to remember he wasn't fed in the non-timeline.

Darren 26:47

If I have to listen to him cry, unless I smother him with a pillow, I get what you're saying. I know what the look is, Sam. You're giving me that look like not if he's dead.

Sam 26:54

Let our listeners know that Darren thought of that all by himself.

Kara 26:58

And that would be traumatic.

Sam 27:00

You can get a soundproof box that you leave AJ in on the days that don't count.

Darren 27:04

Oh, that is. Yeah, but I wouldn't like the little guy to suffer. Because again, that guilt thing the next day, I'd know what I'd done to him and I couldn't live with that.

Sam 27:11

Yeah, but like how many months of doing that before it just becomes routine and you no longer feel guilty? Because, like, you know, you for months and months, your first day is baby in the soundproof box. And like that just becomes routine at a certain point because he's fine the next day. He continues to be fine. Yeah, about 12 hours.

Kara 27:29

Could you imagine like the day we gave birth? Like, literally, like give birth, and then you get to the end of the day, and then the baby disappears.

Sam 27:39

That star. Yeah.

Kara 27:41

Now I just wouldn't want to go through birth again.

Sam 27:43

That's a bad one. Because my follow-up question to this was going to be how long, like how many repeats before you wouldn't take the deal? Like you do every day, like three times are you no longer taking the deal?

Darren 27:57

Three times is a bit too much. I think we've all seen the films.

Kara 28:00

Yeah, I I'm starting to think that twice is way too much. Yeah. Like, can you get out of it?

Sam 28:08

No, no, no. This is part of the thing of like, once you take the deal, that's it. The the older god, his payment is like Yeah, how many days? So, like three days you're saying no?

Darren 28:17

Yeah, I think three days I'm saying no. And I kinda two days, I don't know, because there gets to a point where what if you're in incredible pain? So say you break your leg in an unavoidable accident, and you gotta do the exact same thing the next day.

Sam 28:31

Difficult for it to be unavoidable. I suppose if you were like you started falling at like 11:59 and hit the ground at like 0.01. So it's New Year's. Yeah, it's New Year's. It doesn't have to be New Year's, it could just be every day, but sure, New Year's.

Darren 28:44

I've got a kid, I'm in bed for six o'clock. It's um it's New Year's, it's the one day of the year that I stay up past six. I am very drunk, fall over, 11.59. Just as the countdown happens, bang, leg broke, can't get out of it, and I'm in agony. I'd have to do that twice.

Sam 29:00

Yeah.

Darren 29:01

And then the recovery would be twice as long.

Sam 29:03

Oh god, yeah, it would.

Darren 29:04

That seems a lot.

Sam 29:07

Does the answer change if it's like a week? So, like at the end of like every Sunday night, it resets to the previous Monday morning, you've got to do every week twice.

Darren 29:17

I think I could do that because you've got more chance of changing what's gone on. And I think you'd only do it to change what's gone on. But on the thing we were on about earlier about like, would you feel the need to help people? You've got a week's worth of help to give then. Who'd who'd you pick and choose? Oh god, yeah. Like, do you st can you still work? Because work could impact you going out and helping people. But you have to help people, otherwise you'd feel guilty.

Sam 29:41

Yeah, you've won the lottery. And you know you're the greatest stockbroker to ever walk the earth.

Darren 29:46

I don't want to be a stockbroker.

Sam 29:47

Do you want to win the laundry? Yeah, I'll go with that answer. Okay, fine, that can be your win. Or you know, like bankrupt a casino. You couldn't do that. It would be hard because everything would have to be the exact same.

Darren 29:57

Okay, yeah. So, like, say you were playing you play roulette.

Sam 29:59

Like, does you just roulette standing there? Yeah.

Darren 30:02

Yeah, but does if you lose and then the next time you win, are you guaranteed that everything's gonna happen exactly the same way? Is the dealer gonna pick up the ball at the exact same time?

Sam 30:13

You know, in order for him to shout like Cara, number 32, just won 32,000 pounds again.

Kara 30:19

But then are we looking at it, are the lottery numbers gonna come out the same?

Sam 30:22

No, lottery, because you can't affect the lottery numbers. Like you're not stood in front of them, there's no like effect in it. It's the fact that like the when you're rolling a roulette wheel ball, like it is a person who's looking at you and can see you is the one throwing it. And so you just standing there, if you do something slightly different, they'll roll it slightly different. Okay. Like the same thing for like blackjack and poker, they're probably shuffling the deck slightly differently just because you're there and you've interacted with them.

Darren 30:49

If you decide to stick a blackjack where previously you you twisted, and therefore you win that round, that means different cars have been drawn. Every round after that, every round after that is then different. So it's no longer predictable, but then your whole week is potentially not predictable. In theory, if you were to redo the same week, only that first difference that you make is predictable for the rest of the week. The rest of the week could be completely off different kilter. So at that point you're not reliving that same week again.

Sam 31:17

I mean, it can get even worse because like you save a little girl from running into the train tracks and she goes down to burn down her school afterwards, like you've created more harm because you saved someone and they went on to do harm.

Darren 31:30

I wouldn't worry myself with that.

Sam 31:31

Oh yeah, the the actions of those you saved don't matter.

Darren 31:34

Yeah, because uh the reason is I've started to talk myself around this one. Well, originally I was like, you know, how much how would you keep helping people? Blah blah blah. And then I've just realized when I was talking that it's only that first action, which then changes a week. So you're not reliving the same week over and over again, you're living up to the point you decide to make a change. So as long as that point and change is something really selfish, and for me, the rest of the week's different anyway. You can't impact it, move on. Fair, fair. So yeah, two days, no, a full week, absolutely, sign me up. Okay, Cara.

Kara 32:04

Yeah, I'm kind of on the same page, I think. To a degree, I think if you if you're going back a week and there is something completely unavoidable that happens that is traumatic, and you've got to live through it all again, then that could be really, really tough. So yeah, I still think it's not a perfect system, but it would double my life. And like you say, the it's only the first day that matters of that week. So yeah. Yeah, I'd do a week. That's fair. But I mean, ideally, I'd move it to like a month or two months, but that might be a bit hard to go back.

Darren 32:37

I feel like you're not on negotiation terms with this dark mysterious month the person. The Elder God. Yeah, listen, listen, Mr. Eldegord, you give me two days, I raise you a month. You've now said a week, I'll give you two weeks.

Sam 32:49

I don't think it's negotiation, I think it's kind of an all or nothing. He is there, like, your suffering is the payment.

Darren 32:57

So, what would you go with, son?

Sam 32:58

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I definitely take the two days. I'd probably take the three days, like as soon as you've won the lottery, I feel like I can just fill my days and they would feel like totally different days, so it wouldn't get too tedious. I would be very careful on the days that counted so that I wouldn't jump off buildings at the like 11.59 mark.

Darren 33:18

Like it's totally unavoidable.

Sam 33:20

It's totally unavoidable, it's not unavoidable. I could choose not to do it. Like, I can know what counts.

Darren 33:25

Totally unavoidable, Sam.

Sam 33:27

And yeah, 100% for a week as well. Like, seems like an easy deal.

Darren 33:30

Yeah. It's interesting how pretty much all of us was like, yeah, lottery. Yeah.

Sam 33:34

Our first thought was lottery. There isn't anything else that can give you that sum of money with knowledge of only a day. So does that mean horse racing? Yeah, horse racing can't give you more than 150 million.

Kara 33:45

Like, I would No, but you could keep doing it and probably look less suspicious than if you keep winning the lottery.

Sam 33:51

No, well, no, when like so many people win the lottery. Like, I feel like that is not suspicious at all if you win one. Yeah, but you need to win it once for 150 million.

Darren 34:00

Oh, you could play pay uh you could do the postcode lottery and then just so you win the lottery the first time around, and then every time the postcode lottery happens, you buy the house in that area.

Sam 34:11

I feel like your returns are not so good there.

Darren 34:14

Equally, the six months it takes for a house to go through would negate the one day you've got to do it. So, yeah, that's a really daft one. Moving on. The butt the interesting thought though is that you need money to make it happen so that you're happy and can do what you want with it. So you wouldn't do it with your current life, but you'd do it if you had money and therefore you could change your life.

Sam 34:34

Yeah. Tentative, yeah. Like I probably would still do it with my current life, but it wouldn't nearly be as good.

Darren 34:40

Like so, what would the cutoff then be? So, like two days you said you'd do, would that still be the case? At what point would then you not do it if you had to live your current life?

Sam 34:48

Oh yeah, no, that isn't an amount of time that I wouldn't do it. Like, I mean, maybe 50 years.

Darren 34:53

Well, you do 50 years and then you have to go back and do the 50 years again.

Sam 34:56

Yeah, yeah, because I just don't think I could remember 50 years into the past for what I needed to do in the first week. Like I'm not memorising lottery numbers in 50 for 50 years.

Kara 35:06

I would just like to point out that if I had to do it in my current situation, that would mean that I would be working double the amount of time for the same amount of money.

Sam 35:17

Well, no, you just don't go to work on the days that don't count.

Kara 35:20

Oh, that's true. I'd feel guilty about that though.

Darren 35:23

But it wouldn't count. It wouldn't count.

Kara 35:24

I know, but you're still upsetting the customers, you're still upsetting the staff.

Darren 35:28

That'd be great though. Knowing that you can you're off every other day. Yeah, but and then at weekends you get a four-day weekend on top of the fact you were off every other day. Yeah.

Kara 35:36

Yeah, but I'd feel guilty about them days that I was letting people down, even though they can't remember it, even though it's thinking they're still suffering at that moment in time that you don't turn off.

Sam 35:46

You know that they won't be suffering tomorrow. Yeah, is it suffering if they don't remember it?

Kara 35:50

Yes. Is it?

Sam 35:51

I don't think it is. It's just like a dream. Like if they can never know it happened.

Kara 35:55

But they know it happens at that moment in time when it's happened to them.

Sam 35:59

Is it even them? Do they die? You know, you do the first day, and everyone's like gone out and they've made memories and they've like thought and they've become a different person than they were when they woke up, and then they cease to exist. Have they died? This is deep.

Kara 36:13

This is really deep.

Darren 36:14

I find this that Kara, me and you, we'll we'll do one that's quite jovial. I mean, a minute ago you guys were singing, and then Sam Sam hits us with his. And there's a reason that Sam sometimes goes last, it's because we're all so depressed.

Sam 36:28

Just can't continue the episode afterwards.

Darren 36:30

You just suck the energy out of the room and make us all just like really sad to be alive.

Sam 36:36

Like after these episodes, we all just sort of go off and stare at walls for an hour or two.

Darren 36:41

We don't we don't talk for months, which is really awkward for me and you, Cara, because we live together and we have a kid together and we don't talk for months because of Sam.

Sam 36:49

Just thinking of the nothingness. Does any of this really matter in the end? Oh my god. Are we all just a blink in the eye of Earth?

Darren 36:59

Oh, there's just no positive energy when Sam comes to the mic. And on that note, I think that's it for this episode. I've been Darren, and today I've been joined by Sam and Clara. And we've been No Good Options. If you've enjoyed this episode, then make sure to rate us on your podcast platform of choice and share it around. If you want to see your scenarios on future episodes or just want to get in touch, then you can reach us at no good optionspodcast@ gmail.com. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Band 37:34

Like you doing what we do.